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Showing stories tagged with #food-humor Clear filter

sian_
sian_

School Dinners

#acrostic S ound of the bell and the corridor filling, C an't stand the sight of the food that's grilling. H otdogs and pizzas, paninis and chips, O ver and over my stomach doing flips.

6 4 114 words
leelee101
leelee101

Carvery Whore

#acrostic Oi, Lee. D'ya want dinner today.

16 10 92 words
Klaire
Klaire

Mexican (You Already Know What's Coming)

#acrostic Everyday I go there, chips and salsa are my life, Little do I know that it'll cause me pain and strife...

12 7 87 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Potatoes: The Truth

Clandestine potatoes operated outside of the jurisdiction of F.A.R.M. They didn't play by the rules, they made the rules and then they ignored them. The potato unit were hardcore.

14 2 224 words
leelee101
leelee101

Danger: UXB

There's a birthday in my house so it's curry time tonight Ain't had one for years, and that surely isn't right But tonight the gloves are off, lay it all upon my plate Beers will pour, heads will be...

32 22 275 words
leelee101
leelee101

The Curse Of The Carvery

WARNING: Toilet humour ahoy... Yesterday she asked of me Where to go for dinner. How about the carvery.

38 24 308 words
sjw
sjw

Yuck Yuck Yuck!

#adventchallenge Mince pies.

68 45 106 words
drewses
drewses

A Conversation With My Tea

-You'll have to excuse me for speaking with my mouth full. -You are absurdly delicious I couldn't possibly restrain myself, please do forgive me. -What a clever little thing you are. A revelation!.

14 2 145 words
curiouscraig
curiouscraig

To My Sweet (Potato)

To my sweet (potato), Thankyou for being there for me (in my stomach). You bring me such joy (and nourishment), and it is hard to imagine life without you (my little Ipomoea).

32 6 129 words
ren360
ren360

Waiter!

"Waiter. Oh, Waiter. May I please have my check. The food was great, I'm stuffed to my neck. The soup, I daresay, was particualry nice. Nice and sweet, elegantly spiced.

28 4 52 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

My Greatest Loss Became My Greatest Discovery.

I lost my Mars bar on an uneventful day in mid-July. I was hungry and this was a great loss for my stomach.

6 2 165 words
ren360
ren360

Gran's Cooking

#household Unbuttoning my skirt to make way for more food; Today I sin; I'm eating a bit more than I should.

16 4 173 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Wanta Pizza Me

I sat on the end of the big deep pan pizza. I remember it like it was yesterday because it was yesterday. It was tomato based, or its base was, I can't remember. It had toppings.

4 3 139 words
Edhum3
Edhum3

Too Hot To Handle

They make eye contact across the room only to purposely break their line of sight. A pointless attempt to avoid forbidden thoughts, the curiosity of their minds demand they look again, then again.

20 3 181 words
cherrypopicecream
cherrypopicecream

Cheese Chicken

There was once a chicken, Whose hadn't a name, He saw someone eating yellow stuff, But he was a chicken so it wasn't the same, He thought if it would be edible to them, It surely wouldn't harm a...

16 0 84 words
hannahrt
hannahrt

Ikea Craving

I have a bit of a craving, So im going to ikea tomorrow. To drive us all the way there, My friends mum i will borrow. Waking up nice and early, Ready to feed my desire.

20 5 103 words
yowwa
yowwa

The Custard Song

At the start of every day, I get showered and I say, "Where's me Custard?" "Where's me Custard?" Then I have a great big bowl, Through the kitchen I then stroll, "Want more Custard", "Want more...

32 11 117 words
leelee101
leelee101

go on...

A fella called @Barknbite Thought it just couldn't be right Chocolate and cheese. Oh, pur-lease.

20 12 94 words
gazplend
gazplend

BBQ Night!

Feels like a BBQ night tonight. Burger and sausage delight. The joys of eating outdoors. Flys and insects starting wars. Swatting them constantly away. Food getting covered in fly spray.

24 6 46 words
Edhum3
Edhum3

Too Hot To Handel

They make eye contact across the room only to purposely break their line of sight. A pointless attempt to avoid forbidden thoughts, the curiosity of their minds demand they look again, then again.

18 0 175 words
chy
chy

My One Temptation ©

As the song goes, you are my one temptation the one I've no resistance for And for me this is too true for of you I just want more and more I just can't do without you, wouldn't even want to...

28 11 163 words
redfae
redfae

Meat, Meat, Meat

Sheep, sheep, sheep Wooly and oh so sweet How could anyone eat their meat.

54 13 131 words
gazplend
gazplend

Fancy Dinner?

I love food and I love great cooking. They always say what's cooking good looking. I say it's extreme chips and beans. It's really not what it first seems. Freshly cut chips ovened in tin foil.

26 10 98 words
curiouscraig
curiouscraig

An English Muffin in New Fork

My parody of Sting's 'An Englishman in New York'. Purely meant as a bit of fun - try reading it along with the actual song.

32 8 300 words
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