Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #humor-poetry Clear filter
Arth The Garth. Who liked to laugh. Thought it was funny when sat in the bath. Said the bubbles got big when he done a fart. He liked to sniff, that Arth The Garth. Ray The Skate. Who liked to taste.
It's late, I was flustered, But didn't feel like ham and mustard, So the energy I mustered. To go make me some custard. I tried on the hob, But that turned out lumpy. So I felt like a knob.
I has the man-flu blues. I'm a snot producing machine I have strategically placed sneezing targets in my van If the body is 90% water I should be in drought But oh no, I got Niagara Falls gushing out.
#acorns Having trouble with mine, and it reminded me of this. 4 extra lines. You lucky people...
#myfavouriterepost. I'm not looking for perfect. I'm not asking for much. Just the eyes of Deschanel. And Megan Fox's fine tush. The red hair of Emma Stone. And voice of hers too.
If I were queen for the day I'd want to horse ride in Hyde Park Then by chopper, go to Amsterdam Get high on a rare type of tree bark Then pop over to Paris Buy a load of vintage clothes Wear some...
If I were a villain There'd be none of this tosh Trap the hero straight away And steal all their dosh If I were a villain I'd not tell them my plan I'd start the machine up And hit them with a tin...
My elders have gone crazy, Because they say I'm lazy, So they're trying to make me good. They think that it'll help my mood, And it probably could, If they switch around all my food.
I have a 'friend' on Facebook who I very rarely see His information overload is way too much for me He seems to post each minute of each hour of each day I suppose it's just what happens when you...
Ive noticed a lot of posts that say That awkward moment when... Sometimes they endlessly clog my feed I'm not quite sure what to make of them.
Oh my goodness, She spoke to me. Tell me this isn't true. My mouth is full Of delicious cake. Whatever shall I do. I should respond, But how exactly. My voice is blocked by food.
Oh god, has old age began to set in. I'm against something I'll never win My frown is causing people to ask why.
( It hurts when words don't rhyme #eddie12309 ). Stonewashed. jeans and top. Is mans f##king crazy. Oh my god. Kids these days. They'll wear owt. Who comes out. In a denim coat. Fashion is.
This was getting too hilarious not to join in. Dear Sienna (wacko), please, For us men, dressing's not a breeze, We have much more than two decisions, Random rhyming word: physicians.
I'm not looking for perfect. I'm not asking for much. Just the eyes of Deschanel. And Megan Fox's fine tush. The red hair of Emma Stone. And voice of hers too. The lips of Johansson.
The perils of moving residence, Include the phone company's hesitance... To get the internet switched, To the new place I'm pitched... Hence my slight Opuss negligence.
I think I caught some Writer's Block, I really got it bad. I'm showing all the symptoms, It's something really sad. My page is white as paper, My pen just can't get up.
I know I'm not the only one who has this little glitch. I've even got the nickname of 'that sneaky wifi witch'. Everywhere I go, I look, it's like I have a tic.
The Passion Pool™ is open And it will be every night Admission here is free With every saucy piece you write There's beer and wine aplenty It's more fun than a prom @RichWithey makes the bubbles Just...
# household. I own a giant fish tank. And sometimes, just for a prank. I invite loads of women. To do naked swimming. But first they must walk the plank. But, before they do.
I sit at my desk - and ideas won't come So I chew my pen, swing my chair, fidget and hum. The sly little bastards - those crafty ideas Have been teasing me daily for long friggin' years.
I don't care what people say, I love food, and that's that. I don't like thinking about diets and exercise, So what, I'll get heavy and fat.
The spider sits waiting, It looks with an evil stare, My teeth start grating, I will not go up there.
My book report is due today. I haven't finished yet. In fact, I haven't started, which I'm coming to regret. I haven't even read the book. I put it off so long. I thought I'd have a lot of time.