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The queen of England was visiting one of America's top hospitals, and during her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
#colourchallenge It started off slowly A bit sore at first Spots on my arse It's always been a curse This time was different It was too painful to sit I got my best friend to look "Oh my god,...
The last thing you need when you're ill Is relief in a Bob shaped pill I don't hate his guts But he's driving me nuts If only he'd keep his tongue still He talks about nothing but fishing And work.
There, there, my darling Rest your weary head Let me put cbeebies on While you lay in bed It must have been awful A terrible ordeal I can't even imagine How your meat and veg must feel Of course...
Today's the day he's been waiting for Well ...
At the clinic:: Doctor: Using of condom can stop unwanted pregnancy. He demonstrated how to use condom putting it in his thumb and said that's how you should put it on just before sex.
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them.
A redhead goes to the doctor and the doctor looks at her and says "now what seems to be the problem here" She says "doc every time i touch myself it hurts. Watch." she poked herself all over.
1 - earache. 2 - headache. 3 - nosebleed. 4 - sore throat. 5 - toothache. 6 - arm ache. 7 - leg ache. 8 - pins and needles. 9 - sickness. 10 - diarrhoea. 11 - swollen glands. 12 - chest infection.
My big toe nails in-grow, The pain is crippling and unfair. Unpleasant I'll have you know, No cure, must grim and bare. I've cut a "V" into my nail, No recurrence ever since.
A woman gives birth to a baby..... Afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby,...
A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy.
My wife and her big hammer toes. In growing toe nail that grows and grows. I'm trying to watch the footy without a fuss. While she squeezes it and out pops puss. Years of wearing tiny shoes.
Sunday morning at the vets Two hours in, ain't been seen yet Our 8th arrival needs injections To be immune from infections So far though, only mutts And guess what's aching. Yes my butt Hey Mr.
Floating softly on the breeze Falling gently from the trees Tiny things that make me sneeze And leave me, watering, on my knees O how I wish it were not so My nose is sore because I blow Spores are...
Joe, a successful man by most standards, began to be bothered by some incredible headaches. When both his professional life and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
A blonde walks into a doctor's office. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, "Doc, I hurt all over." The doctor is really confused.
Monday morning at the doctors, all was quiet until a man slammed open the door and cried, 'Doctor doctor, what should I do ive got strawberries growing out of my head, what should I do??".
Fat Cat rolled down the hill, He couldn't walk for he was ill, Half-off the side of the mat, What a silly old cat so fat, Diabetes '2 skipping a beat, 30% more cat to greet, Did you swallow your twin.
A blonde walks into a doctor with two very red ears. Obviously the doctor is puzzled by this, and proceeds to ask the blonde why her ears are bright red and looking sore. "Hello ma'am.
76/122 Brain For Sale A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
1.Better save that.we'll need it for the autopsy.2.What's THIS doing here?. Hand me that ..uh ..that,uh...thingie. 3.OOPS.