The Dissociative Marionette
She always felt a split-second behind her own body, as if her movements belonged to someone else and she was just watching them arrive. Under the gaze of others, the lag narrowed.
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She always felt a split-second behind her own body, as if her movements belonged to someone else and she was just watching them arrive. Under the gaze of others, the lag narrowed.
She slept too often, and never by choice. The world came to her in fragments, a handful of seconds, a conversation half-heard, a face she recognised only because it had aged since last time.
Deep in the overgrown garden behind a half-forgotten cottage, she lived. She carried a wand, a snapped twig bound with ribbon and glitter.
It has just turned seven On a Saturday eve I should be sat downstairs With the kids on my knees But I am laid up in bed, alone and in such pain As my old black dog Paces up and down to a new...
One bad day in a bad week at the end of a bad year, Sat alone in an empty flat with an empty bottle of beer.
#disabilityaware #rant A couple of swear words.
"What's it like?" I asked, unsure of whether I should say the dreaded word. "Schizophrenia. You can say it, Landon." Ainsley said nonchalantly, as if she could tell what I was thinking.
and when you sob. and carve society on your hip. crying. saying you're in love with sadness. it pisses me off. because I'm actually sad. all the time. and have been since I could really think.
Worry,. In the pits of your,. Tummy,. Squeezing it. Tight,. Manifesting in terror or. Fright,. Sickened stomach,. The mind becomes a. Race,. Speeding up,. never loosing. Pace,. A feeling,.
It's late. I'm so incredibly exhausted- running on peppermint mocha and green tea. I can not rest. My mind does not have an off switch. And so I unlock my pretty jewelry box and take out my addiction.
Sick of the dark, sick of the cold Hate the depressing flat gray Aches and pains, feel so old I hate living this way Work, problems and stress All I seem to remember What an ugly, common mess All...
Hello again, and today was Thursday, the 14th of March. If you ever feel down, read this if you may. You have friends and they will help you get through this.
It never fails, it always happens to me, all my girlfriends have issues, it's like cupid has something personal against me.
Theres a light in the darkness. Its getting closer too. When it reaches my heart then all will be good again. Now im grey and tired. Soggy and dried out. But ive found it never helps to pout.
My mind is too fuzzy right now. It's way to fuzzy to breath. My mind is too fuzzy right now. And I'm hoping that somebody sees. Cause I'm lying here alone. All these marks upon my soul. I'm dyin here.
"Ok thanks Mark." He said, closing the bedroom door behind him as his new landlord closed the front door. Sitting on the bed he surveyed the room, it was small but liveable.
Sometimes I have my 'up' days where I almost wonder what was ever wrong. *rarely.
The dark seemed to glow that night. Everything seemed different, but somehow reminded me of the past, in each blink.
Self harm references.
Sometimes, during certain moments, I feel so strong. At other times, I'm instantly overcome by such a deep sadness...Something I don't understand but that lives deep within me.
"Why do people kill themselves?" Someone posed this question the other day, so here's my answer: People kill themselves because they simply are tired of their lives.
It's been one of those days. Woke up in a daze. Feel lost in a maze. Negative thoughts can't help but play. Round every turning, Is another spurning.
Today totally backfired. I went in to play hookie and just get a note and left with two bags of IV fluid pumping through me. It was incredibly interesting. I got pretty emotional because of it though.
Today I woke with a smile. Went to school happy. It had been awhile. Since I hadn't felt crappy. It was something quite new. The others were befuddled. "Put her in a zoo!". They said, all huddled.