Sign In

Explore Unputdownable Stories

Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.

Showing stories tagged with #pet-humor Clear filter

marymint
marymint

Is It True Opuss- 50

With my iPad charging under my bed A visitor came to my room and said Have you cat under your bed . Thought, Opuss are you the cat under my bed.

28 17 100 words
sammielee46
sammielee46

It's A Cats Life.

A couple of swear words. Hi my name is kitty, I'm writing a little ditty, A day in the life, Of my troubles and strife, I'm sorry if you find this a bit shitty.

16 10 473 words
leelee101
leelee101

Dog (or cat) tired...

I could sleep right now, this very minute. Conjure a dream and then climb in it. Brain akimbo, heavy old lids. Attempts at alertness are hitting the skids. The reason is simple, for all last night.

36 24 121 words
leelee101
leelee101

Pieces Of Patches

My cat passes time. By pulling his hair. Pieces of Patches. Are everywhere. How he's not bald. I'll never know. It could probably make. A black and white throw. Into your dinner. His rudder will fall.

86 32 114 words
sammielee46
sammielee46

Dog Libido.

It's that dreaded time of year,. My dogs libido kicks in to gear,. My male dog thinks its Christmas again,. Their constant humping drives me insane,. It only happens twice yearly,.

42 37 187 words
MikoMiku
MikoMiku

I See You, Kitty

(This little poem came to me honestly 2 minutes ago as I saw my cat peer around the corner at me.

14 4 150 words
Platypus
Platypus

A Dogs Life / The Sheltie Diary

Mm. Morning. Is it breakfast yet. I want walkies. Human, get set. Twice around thr field, Maybe once around the hill. Then I'll race you home, human. And I'll eat my fill.

32 9 161 words
PoppyA
PoppyA

Podge

Who needs an alarm When you've got a cat He doesn't mean any harm, But he's just so fat. He makes a thud when he jumps on the bed, You can barely lift him when he tries to sit on your head.

16 2 141 words
drewses
drewses

The Felix Percentages

Hello all, allow me to talk about my cats. Now hold on ladies.

18 2 385 words
glen
glen

My Dog Cleans My Room

#sequel I've taught my dog another glorious trick, he now cleans and tidy's my room He licks the sides nice and clean and he can also use a broom He's handy with a hoover and he knows how to make my...

24 0 191 words
phillipmitchell
phillipmitchell

My Pet Hamster

I wanted a pet Cute and easy to keep. So a bought a hamster So little and cheap. “An ideal pet Sir” The shopkeeper said: 32 hours and the hamster was dead.

20 7 185 words
TheShinn
TheShinn

Cats

I have been studying cats through history and have found something I'm sure all my Facebook friends, cat lovers or not, need to know. Cats are fucking lazy. Everyone knows this.

6 5 241 words
MikuruYuki
MikuruYuki

Tuesday 25th September 2012

10:26 Sat here watching trash tv on my day off, the dogs are curled up next to me, keeping me warm.

20 3 315 words
Tizzy
Tizzy

A... "Fun" Experience...

So. Me and my uncle's fiancée were clipping Millie's claws (Millie is my usually docile, big black and white cat). She didn't like it...

8 2 212 words
Zhana
Zhana

Bubu, Aiko & the 'Meow'

I've two cats, Bubu & Aiko; Every night before I go to bed, I'll make sure they both sleep outside in the living area and not in my room.

6 5 219 words
ren360
ren360

Woody's Got The Hiccups

(Woody's my dog) Woody's got the hiccups, It's driving him insane. It started just this morning, It's something quite profane.

6 0 145 words
Augustus
Augustus

Lazy Cats

Why are my cats always so lazy. I'm not complaining- it's just envy. Lounging around getting fed on demand, Oh why can't it be me.

10 0 131 words
glen
glen

My Dog Drives

#bored I've taught my dog a glorious trick, I've trained him to drive my car He drives me to the pub and back, he's the cleverest dog by far He picks me up and drives me home, right back to my...

38 15 161 words
ren360
ren360

Woody...

Head bragging. Tail wagging. He's a plague of whom I can't get rid. Paws scratching. Great acting. I'm not gonna give in to his plead. Small whimper. Faint simper. He's really gave it his best.

28 1 52 words
naaviie
naaviie

Useful Dragon

Take him home to fuel your fire, Train him to be your hair dryer, Grab things from high shelves, Let him hunt those pesky elves, Carry home your shopping, Stop local dogs poop-ping, He'll even dry...

26 13 135 words
Weirdwolf
Weirdwolf

Lola

I've got a naughty pussycat, she keeps catching butterflies. I think she has convinced herself they're birdies of small size. She stalks them on the lavender, they seem to like that spot.

44 39 148 words
olive
olive

Ode To A Pug

Today I'll write an ode to a pug I'm owned by one you see She's small and she's very naughty But cute as cute can be Olive is her name Like her from 'on the buses' She loves everyone she meets She...

16 1 134 words
twistedtail
twistedtail

Texting the Cat

Dear Owner, How are you this fine day. The weather is fine, is it not. Sincerely, Sir Truffle Cookie ____________________ TC i told u already. this is just texting. you dont have to be posh.

4 0 100 words
tattyteddy
tattyteddy

New puppy/pillow

#youngwritershousehold. @mpalister. *. I bought a new puppy yesterday,. Brought her into my bedroom for a play,. She bits my pillow and chews it to bits,.

4 1 83 words
Page 1 Next