Over Dramatic.
I cut myself today Accidentally you must understand I was making a cheese sandwich But I butchered my right hand The pain it caused was real A concern for those who saw My wound is pouring out All...
Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #self-deprecating Clear filter
I cut myself today Accidentally you must understand I was making a cheese sandwich But I butchered my right hand The pain it caused was real A concern for those who saw My wound is pouring out All...
I've bought myself a vibrator No. No. Not one of those. The kind you have to stand on. Not the kind that curls your toes.
When i whisk an egg it jumps out of the bowl. I try to cook a pig whole. I stir the mixture for far too long. And all my creations really pong. I forgot to turn the oven on.
Not to sound desperate but I need more followers.
Ten past four I'm running late . Close the door Unlatch the gate Morning breeze Run to the car Bloody keys?!!. Oh, there you are.
As the song goes, you are my one temptation the one I've no resistance for And for me this is too true for of you I just want more and more I just can't do without you, wouldn't even want to...
I can't believe it's Sunday night The week is nearly here I've been too busy doing jobs To hang out with a beer Once again it's Monday It comes round far to fast I wish we had a weekend That would...
I'd like to apologise,. for the grammar I've displayed,. And the fact that this poem,. Has been somewhat delayed,. I have been known to criticise,. The grammar of my peers,.
Opuss, you seductive mistress. Unable to write. Void of ideas. Taking solace in a Tub of Ben and Jerry's. No harm in that??!. Fuck it. I forgot. I'm lactose intolerant. Oh Opuss!. How I bleed for you.
1. Saying 'bunnies' all the time. It pees people off sometimes. But it's habitual. 2. The massive poster of The Muppets on my wall. I act like a seven year old sometimes.