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Showing stories tagged with #self-deprecating-humor Clear filter
The unthinkable has occurred, Ive woke up not wanting to post a word. It's not writer's block, I've plenty to say, I just cant be bothered to write today.
#acrostic Sneaking into the kitchen to raid the cupboard at night Eating all the crisps and chocolate everything in sight Cakes, biscuits, there not safe binge eating at its best, Ridiculous is...
#Truestory haha check profile picture. I've never had any plants, I really don't see the point. But for 99p at homebase, I probably shouldn't go there after a joint.
#sundayrepost. I'm a ghost hunter, but I've never caught a ghost. When they disappear that's what pisses me off the most. I just want some credit, I get laughed at in the street.
I'm going on an adventure, I don't know when I'll be back. I'm traveling through the Amazon, although jungle skills I lack. I'll survive by eating monkeys and fresh fruit from the trees.
True story So I start my new job on Monday, I always hate the first day They'll probably pair me with some idiot, who hasn't got nothing to say I'll be making lights for runways, I know, it sounds...
#acrostic~ish. Searching for the one, I wanted the cream of the crop. Only this time last week, I let my standards drop. Under the mistletoe we kissed, she really was a minger.
Hi. So, this is my blog. Ummmmm. This is the problem with writing a blog that us actualy about my life because i dont have an interesting one.
I thought I'd see if I could rap A white guy rapping. Why not dance tap. I think I'd do better present wrapping. But fuck it, Here goes nothing.
Ok because of known nickname murderous Molly I don't want people to be scared about my new profile picture.... It's me holding two swords Ones a ninja sword, the others a captains sword.
I've got a guitar for my birthday, but I don't know how to play I hope it's as easy as my harmonica, I learned that in a day It looks so cool, with its Union Jack But when I play it, the sound is...
Feeling slightly festive Now I've had a day off and rested Only six more presents to buy And a cheeky one for Dave on the sly Spent the day trying to avoid Christmas number 1s ...
I'm trying a new thing today. I'm not sure what to say. But I've had no luck. And I truly suck. I'm sure I'll be good at this one day You see this is my second today.
Hi there, it's so great to chat I'm single and am feeling crap Thought I'd join this dating site Maybe it'll stop me feeling shite. So a little about me I suppose.
@sammielee46 thanks for the challenge. This one's for you.
So I have so far been on two and a half dates with tall dark and handsome, and so far things do seem to be going really rather well.
Thank you guys, so much now,. I'm rank three and I don't know how,. Probably because I write loads of things,. You just like, comment and repost, so now I sing,. I'm singing my favourite song,.
Loading the machine up with more of the tonnage of household washing one morning, reaching into the cupboard for the powder.
As I stand here in the shower, my reflection staring back at me, I think again on days gone by, on where my six pack used to be.
I keep writing words down and making them rhyme. I don't know what's wrong with me,I'm doing it all the time.
Kilimanjaro decided to sit on my chin This spot looked at me like "how you doing?" Bugger off you pesky painful zit You're making my lovely face look shit How dare you invade my face Without...
The t-shirt An item that's so simple, I will write a poem about, A t-shirt is a good one, So let's not hang about, It's plain white material, Yet so cotton soft, It keeps me nice and warm, So I...
#bored. I'm a ghost hunter, but I've never caught a ghost. When they disappear that's what pisses me off the most. I just want some credit, I get laughed at in the street.
Inspired by @nikujagagirl's "Weird Quotes Of Me", here are some quotes of my own that are quite random and quickly generate a pitied laugh from my friends.