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Showing stories tagged with #self-deprecation Clear filter
My head's on fire Build my funeral pyre I might expire I feel so dire Last night's a blur Just him and her My brain won't whir I don't concur I might just die Bid life goodbye Why. Why. Why.
Like moths to a flame They converge with no desire to ask your name American chicks love English ......
#acrostic So you seem to believe it's tonight, you say Even though the sky's five hundred shades of grey. Don't you delight in passionate array Usual suspect with devilish ways.
Today I'm feeling groovy Today I'm feeling great From all this talk of bras on boobies Now tonight I cannot wait See Sarahgamal started it off In a tale of how she wears her tops With bras all...
My boobs are going southwards. Their heading for my toes. How far they reach is a guess that nobody does know. But hopefully, eventually the downward trend must. slow. So, watch this space you all.
Pythagoras's theorem,. Mathematical serum,. Algebraic equations,. Mathematical frustration,. Percentages and fractions,. A shoppers dissatisfaction,. Volume and area,. Couldn't be scarier,.
Does my Opuss have only nine lives.
I think to myself why am I single. But then I realise I'm too young, People portray me as being dumb. I'm not although I can be 'blonde' I can't trust anyone; it's hard to bond.
Clumsy, clumsy, clumsy me, burns her tongue on a cup of tea. And if that's not enough for you she burns her tongue on a bowl of stew. Is shy with everyone she meets.
I've come down with a case of man flu,. Now I know what you men go through,. Had it since Saturday and it won't bugger off,. Blocked nose sore throat and a husky cough,.
(Adultish reference). Hi my name is Patrick. And I'm an awakaholic. It's a horrible habit. Which I just can't kick. I've tried watching tv. And listening to music. I've tried perfect silence.
I think I have a drinking problem No not alcohol but tea Sometimes I put the cup to my mouth I miss and it pours all over me.
I know I'm not the highest rank, But can I not be proud. I won't brag, there is no point, You get nowhere by being loud. I cannot take all credit, For these things I write.
I lift my head, My eyes feel dry, My vision hazy Feel like I'm gonna die. My head bangs, My mouth's dry too. Dress still on And wearing one shoe. I think back To the events of last night.
Shall I compare you to a razor blade Every time I swallow my poor throat Thou art a tempest I wish would bloody fade Still I shall rest but a bit longer and gloat You have appeared at a most...
CONTAINS THE OCCASIONAL SWEAR WORD!.
I give excellent advice. I do so from ignorance via empathy. On a whole it works out nicely, friends ask discreetly and I respond in kind.
I'm a shit fireman because I'm shit scared of fire. My boss has got the hump and he calls me a liar. I don't know what it is that makes me run from the flame.
I think I caught some Writer's Block, I really got it bad. I'm showing all the symptoms, It's something really sad. My page is white as paper, My pen just can't get up.
My god I hope I don't puke I've drunk too much vodka absolut It was nice going down Hope I don't chuck on my dressing gown It's not classy and not chic I'm a lightweight..I'm so weak Now I need...
Mon français c'est de la merde Mein Deutsch wird gefickt Mi español es una basura 私の日本語はただの不良である لغتي العربية هي ما حتى Mit danske ville ikke få mig høj Η ελληνική είναι μια no go για μένα Gaeilge.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed. His underwear is hanging on the lamp. His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair, And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
Hello Everyone, I am happy to announce that I have just received the results of my tests from the Psychiatric Hospital of the planet Zorg, and they have confirmed beyond all doubt that I am stark...
Columbine, dear Columbine Your lips are like a red, red wine: Vinegary, make me gag... They give me morning headaches, hag.