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I wish I was a seagull Flying in the sky And if you stare To see who's there I'll shit right in your eye I wish I was a mongrel A vicious little mutt And if perchance You give a glance I'll bite...
-NATIONAL ANTHEMS The British National Anthem has more than one verse, nobody knows the words to the second one. By the third verse it starts to get awkward.
Ladies, your mood will turn black You may feel the need to attack And what is the reason The Premier League season Oh yes girls, the footie is back.
A new Olympic event is taking place today. Heavy weight dog lifting is on its way. All dog groomers from across the land. What a competition it's going to be grand.
Oh I wish I had been more organised, I wish I didn't have my head in the skies, I wish I'd spent more time on the computer, Looking for some tickedy, tick ticks.
Ok lads, the footie's finished Wipe away that tear Back to normal telly Back to the soaps I fear Put away the BBQ Won't need it for a while Football widows everywhere Have on their biggest...
Things not to say about football: If losing: What's the score. It's only football Are we winning. Never mind We'll do better next time If winning: Can I watch eastenders. Calm down.
My mate Eddie is mild and meek Goes to football and then he'd streak Eddie had a plan you see To get his nob in full HD The referee would give a toot There'd be Ed in birthday suit But Eddie's...
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game. "I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
Every diurnal course of my squalid perseity was utilized conceiving ways to conquer an omnipotent, invisible calumniator: BOREDOM. Let me count the ways.....8 hours a day were taken by classes.