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Showing stories tagged with #surreal-humor Clear filter

blindsilence
blindsilence

Carlo Of Arabia

Carlo was not a man to be messed with, he was a camel. He hailed from a sand dune that was located somewhere between Egypt and Jordan. I do actually mean the countries and not glamour models.

24 6 425 words
curiouscraig
curiouscraig

Turquoise Porpoise

#turquoise #colourchallenge The turquoise porpoise Is quite a thing to behold. Watch out for it in your fridge, Or indeed anywhere cold.

30 9 161 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Where We Are Going, We Don't Need Roads

I was eating a dish at a restaurant and the waiter told me not to, he informed me that they have food on their menu. The reason I was at the restaurant was to investigate their chairs.

14 1 336 words
gazplend
gazplend

Bill And Ben And Glen!

You all must remember the famous Bill and Ben The strange talking amiable flowerpot men What none of us knew way back then There was a third brother by the name of Glen Glen was the one who was...

38 18 108 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Carlos The Emo Turkey | Part 1

#CarlosTheEmoTurkey Hello people of earth. My name is Carlos and I am an emo turkey, THE emo turkey, actually. I grew up in Portugal and spend 364 days a year locked up in a mental institution.

22 2 136 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Monday Is Cancelled

Go back to bed, ye wake too soon, Or stay awake and bide the moon, I do not care of what you do, This Monday's off, it has the flu.

44 12 108 words
TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks

Dream A Little Dream.

Have you ever had one of those dreams that make no sense whatsoever . I had one last night about a bloke who was an automobile sprayer whose girlfriend turned into a giant spoon .

20 6 82 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Stairs

When I was a lad we didn't have stairs. Nope, none at all. You've got it easy.

22 4 222 words
cherrypopicecream
cherrypopicecream

Cecil

Cecil is a centipede. And Cecil is my friend. The last time I saw Cecil. He was this big (Show with hands). I said 'Cecil what have you done??'. 'I had one apple'.

18 0 84 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Too Quiet|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle This Battle of the cheeses, Has turned into a ghost, A quiet, lurking shadow, A lesser of the most, I'm hiding in the cheese lair, A'thinking up a plan, With my sidekick who has...

16 16 62 words
naaviie
naaviie

Knickerless | Cheese Battle

Blithering BedHair Lee, Now without his knees, Back for more, From hero ladies adored, Stealing elastic from their pants, Why you - you sneaky little ant.

22 10 79 words
leelee101
leelee101

Wings | Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle I know it's a super car But now you've gone too far. So I've brought arrows and slings To damage your clip-on wings.

22 6 86 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Let's Do This|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle. Armed with guns of liquid cheese,. Egyptian Cotton, please, D, please,. I suggest, use Vanish, you,. To lift the scent of BedHead's poo,. Unless you wish to wear them now,.

18 7 63 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

The Daily Opusszette!

In what is truly historic news, Team Opuss from the People's Democratic Republic of Opussia have won their first medal in Olympic history.

14 3 256 words
OdinsFist
OdinsFist

Tea And Sheep

#household. It's early in the morning and I'm making tea. Out the window I look and up in my tree. It's those damn sheep having a laugh. I see one about to drop my most prized bath.

26 12 208 words
gazplend
gazplend

Bikini Vets 1

Oh dear what can the matter be. Killer owls hide high up in the tree. Using your head as a moving lavatory. I will hide from Monday to saturday. Then Sunday I'll take them down.

24 8 77 words
Delilah
Delilah

The Red Swan Of Doom!

Don't forget too soon The 17th June A new bird has thickened the plot. He's red and regal, Graceful and evil, Come to take your pants, the whole lot.

14 5 129 words
RandomGirl
RandomGirl

My Fairy tale Welsh Poem

Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair. Down Cardiff castle it fell long and fair. In the distance snow white sang, In the valleys with her seven dwarf gang.

10 0 107 words
aleishagayle20
aleishagayle20

Tick Tock Jatty Pratty

Hickory dick-your-ey dock @Jatt ran up the fucking clock The clock struck one @Seamonster brought him tumbling down Hickory fickle-ry clock Tick tock.

20 10 50 words