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Dear Owner, How are you this fine day. The weather is fine, is it not. Sincerely, Sir Truffle Cookie ____________________ TC i told u already. this is just texting. you dont have to be posh.
What the hell are you doing to our neighbours cat, she just text me.
DOG: AM I GAY. I don't know. Are you attracted to man dogs.
DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.
Me textin my cat in heaven... Me: What's up. Cat: What's up, where. Me: Let me rephrase it, What u up 2. Cat: Oh right, having a pawicure. Me: O-K...weird....what's that. Cat: An animal pedicure.
DOG: did you call me. I'm busy Just got a text from the neighbour. STOP TWATTING AROUND DOG: I'm NOT. SHES LYING Shall I forward you her text.
Me textin my cat in heaven... Me: Wuu2. Cat: What does that mean. Me: What you up to. Cat: Can't you answer my other question first. Me: ....... Cat: ...... Me: Just answer the second question.
Person 1: Hey Are you awake. Person 2: Why do people always ask that question.
DOG: who are those people in our house. Guests DOG: why. Just having a wee party DOG: are you going to introduce me. No. DOG: not to ALL of them, just the girl in the blue jeans. No.
DOG: LAMP IN THE LIVING ROOM FELL OVER. Ok. DOG: FREAKED ME OUT. Take a deep breath. DOG: NOW I HAVE TO FIGHT IT. NO YOU DON'T. DOG: I DO, MATTER OF HONOUR N STUFF.
DOG: think the sofa cushions are planning another ambush Those comfy BASTARDS DOG: backfired though, I captured the leader and water boarded him for intel on their next attack Water boarded.
Friend: hey whats up... Me: nm in the garden.. Friend: oh cool, what u doing in te garden. lol Me: picking parrots Friend: YOUR GROWING PARROTS!. Me: yes idiot im growing parrots..
DOG: why you put me in garden. Because you would drown. I have to call someone to fix this flood. DOG: DAM BUSTERS That's if you NEED a flood DOG: GHOST BUSTERS They bust GHOSTS.
Cat 1: so dude how's it goin. Cat2: ohhh cat 1 have you been on the cat-nip again. Cat1: what would you say if I said yes. Cat2: I would ban cat-nip from your life. FOREVER.
DOG: what will you do with me when I die. Flush you down the toilet. DOG: is my death a joke to you. I'm having you stuffed.
DOG: knocked bin over. Drank some stuff What stuff. DOG: dunno, blue silvery stuff Red bull. DOG: brain feels all ELECTRICKY Lie down. DOG: OMG you left the bedroom door open.
DOG: I'm in the garden I know, I'm working from home today. DOG: I can't find that pizza crust you threw out here. There was no crust. I was only pretending haha.
DOG: where is mr duck. Don't know. I'm busy. DOG: WHERE IS MR DUCK. Again, I don't know. DOG: i'm stressed. I need to bite mr ducks sweet plastic body FFS.
DOG: where is mr duck. Don't know. I'm busy. DOG: WHERE IS MR DUCK. Again, I don't know. DOG: i'm stressed. I need to bite mr ducks sweet plastic body FFS.
DOG: do you think I could be a police dog. No. DOG: why not. Don't think you've got the nerve. DOG: WTF. My nerves are STEEL. You jump at the sounds of your own farts.
DOG: guess who left the back gate open. Get back here NOW. I'm waiting... Where ARE you. GET HOME NOW. DOG: I'm stuck. FFS where. DOG: underneath the neighbours fence.
DOG: just done a busy on the kitchen floor WTF. I let you out before I left DOG: yea, I thought you weren't ever ever ever coming home....... so I panicked I have to eat in that room.
DOG: how long til u be home. Told you I'll be in at 7. You ready for walkies!. DOG: YES. CAN WE TAKE THE BALL You want the ball. DOG: YES. Who wants the ball DOG: ME.