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Showing stories tagged with #witty-dialogue Clear filter
Did you fall down the stairs. – no, I wanted to kiss the steps. Have you been robbed. – no, I gave them my valuables and they ran away in happiness. Did you take a bath.
John Watson:(choking Sherlock) remember I was a soldier. I killed people. Sherlock: you were a doctor. John Watson: I had bad days.
I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know. Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog.
A guy asked a girl in a library; “Do you mind if I sit beside you”. The girl answered with a loud voice; I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!.
Something unusual happened to me today. I was chatting to this bloke and he went full cray. Calling me names for no particular reason. If this were olden times he'd be hung for treason.
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on an aeroplane when the stranger turned to her and said 'let's talk.
I love going to the car boot every Sunday - not just for the bargains but for the banter also. Last week I was at a stall with a young lad to my right and a 'grumpy old man' type to my left.
This is the speech that got me into drama school.... :O, she misused me past the endurance of a block.
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
Two business men were setting up a shop and were into the second day with just a counter and a few shelves put up.
You're boring-So are you You're face is ugly- Have you looked at how much makeup you are wearing?. Your clothes are rubbish-So are yours because everyone else is wearing them.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little David stood up.
------------------------------- Student: Would you punish me for something I didn't do. Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework ----- Teacher: Why are you late.
Me: Can I have a glass of cola. Waitress: Will diet pepsi do. Me: Never mind. Can I have a glass of lemonade. Waitress: Sure *gives a glass of 7-up* Me: This is 7-up....
Teacher: Young lady, please refrain yourself from talking as its disrupting the class. Me: ACTUALLY Miss, only one person was listening to me at that point in time, so I wasn't disrupting Miss.
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
Faina Ranevskaya walks about her make-up room totally naked and smokes. A theatre directors walks in without knocking and freezes at the door.
An elderly lady on a cruise ship was holding her hat tight so that it would not be blown away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam....
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many...
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many...