I've only loved one guy. I loved him with all my heart. My feelings for him lasted for 4 whole years. And all the while, he didn't feel the same way. We were never anything more than friends. He was my first crush. I hated my heart for dragging it on. I wanted to die all because my stupid feelings. I had to go and like the most impossible, out-of-reach guy.
But things are better now, we are still friends. My feelings just aren't as strong. It's like a little flame in my heart, it flickers and gets weaker, but at some moments it flares up.
I'm over him. I need to move on.
But I'm afraid to love again. I'm scared its going to put me through all that suffering again. I'm in fear of feeling anything for anyone. So I've shut myself off. I've made myself a robot, not able to love. I won't allow me to feel anything. For if I feel anything, i'll get involved. And then I'll just have to go through the same unbearable heartbreak all over again.
"Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost. Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost."
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