frosty
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
I don't want to rule or conquer anyone, I should like to help everyone if possible, Jew, Gentile,Black man,or White, We all want to help one another, Human beings are like that, We all want to live by each others Happiness, Not by each othe…
A fun thing to do in the checkout line is to take one thing from the cart in front of you and see if they notice. Last week I took a baby.
You know that whole walking-away-in-slow-motion thing that heroes do in movies when something is exploding? I tried that today. Really wish I hadn’t. Really, really wish I hadn’t.
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like, “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?!
A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to…
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.