I Didn't Know, I Didn't Care

The feeling was inexplicable. Truly inexplicable. So much so that I couldn’t get my own head round it, couldn’t understand it myself. My heart beat fast and strong in my chest, like it was trying to tell me something. I could tell exactly what he was doing, or maybe I was reading too much into it, or maybe I understood what he was about to do before he even did. I didn’t know. I didn’t care. My heart continued to thump and bang so loudly it took over all the other sounds I could hear, invaded my ears so that I could only hear the rhythm it was making. I wanted to hear him, nothing but him. Why did I feel like this? It was wrong, so wrong. Why was I letting him, why was I allowing this, why did I want him so, so badly? I didn’t know. I didn’t care.