Untitled
Pain is temporary, pride is forever..
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goalballmouse
I'm 26, love Goalball, snakes and my cat Will. am an athlete, tvaholic, full time practical joker and socialiser
44
Stories
34
Followers
Stories by @goalballmouse (44)
Untitled
Every snack you make, Every meal you bake Every bite you take I'll be watching you. (insert picture of dog looking longingly and think of sting/the police).
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27 words
Untitled
In an attempt to embrace capitalism Russia now has coffee shops on every corner. They are known as tsarbucks..
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19 words
Religious Drinking
Above every church coffee shop there should be a sign asking 'what would Jesus brew?'.
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15 words
Tech-no
My external hard drive gets my back up..
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8 words
The Life Of A Snake
Does a male python who fails to breed have ereptile dysfunction?.
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11 words
Untitled
There was a young woman named Bright Whose speed was much faster than light. She set out one day In a relative way, And returned on the previous night..
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29 words
Untitled
You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.
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59 words
Untitled
Passion is everything..
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Untitled
Outside of a dog a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. I love that quote!.
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Untitled
Is for a Siamese cat to lose his job unfur dismissal??.
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11 words
Untitled
The height of weirdness in my day, I've just shared a shower with a boa constrictor!!.
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16 words
Untitled
It's so sad that we live in a world where people would rather throw everything away than fix things, peoples lives are not commodities..
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24 words
Friend Quotes
Looking back on Facebook I found 2 particularly insane quotes from friends 1. I think blue would be my favourite colour if I knew what was 2.
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The Life Of The Goalballmouse
Blindie related insomnia is no fun. all my late night puns, 8am and now I think it's time to sleep?. #eef.
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20 words
Untitled
Why do people call me skeptical?. I just don't believe a word of it..
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Untitled
When you retire from journalism you leave on the ex-press train.
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Untitled
If you drive a train it's a good idea to keep track..
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12 words
Untitled
How can we not understand aliens if their language is universal?.
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11 words
Untitled
If you wear a watch on a plane does time fly?.
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Untitled
Cat + allergy = rash decision.
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6 words
Psychiatry
My psychiatrist says I should take something for my kleptomania..
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10 words
Psychiatry
A psychiatrist always falls into a depression..
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7 words
Psychiatry
A psychiatrists favourite food must be Kentucky Freud chicken..
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9 words
Untitled
It's a happy day. I found my beeping frisbee, if only I'd left it on I would not have lost it ha ha..
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23 words
Untitled
My last one for the night before my brain hurts: if you put a story in a nutshell does it make you nuts?.
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Untitled
When Lenin was at school was he obsessed with his Marx?.
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11 words
Tech-no
All these new websites are too flashy for me.
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9 words
Food For Thought
You say this drink is non-alcoholic. Where is the proof?.
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10 words
Tech-no
To use Nero do I need a cd-Rome?.
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8 words
Tech-no
Asking your parents about hardware makes your mother board..
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9 words
Tech-no
Why did the capacitor kiss the diode. Because he couldn't resistor..
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11 words
A Life Of Crime
A consensus is to count the prison population.
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A Life Of Crime
Thieves who Robbed victoria's secret gave officers the slip.
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A Life Of Crine
If you drop evidence in cement, does it make you a hardened criminal?.
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A Life Of Crime
What do you call an arrogant criminal falling over. Condescending..
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A Life Of Crime
what is a criminals favourite punctuation mark. A full stop as it signals the end of a sentence.
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18 words
medicalconfusion
Do my ophthalmology jokes provide you with aqueous humour??.
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9 words
Movies You Drink
The last tango in Paris.
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5 words
medicalconfusion
Is to cauterise to make eye contact??.
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7 words
medicalconfusion
To dilate is to live longer.
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6 words
medicalconfusion
Is post-operative another name for royal mail?.
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7 words
Bakers
Do bakers share their recipes on a knead to know basis?.
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11 words
Shakesbeer
MacBecks.
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1 words