6 July 2012
Past couple of days been utmost irritating. And I don't have PMS to blame on. Anyway, hello again to the people in this little bubble of escape. Wow, I really tried to be clever with words there- failed. Anyhoo, I wish I could say that yes, I was busy with life, catching up with other's and that I have no time for myself. Now, that would be a lie. I have done nothing but just being completely numbed to boredom (not that I can complain) and basically adapted a life of a zombie. It is not like I have nothing to do. Babes, I am on my 2nd to 3rd month into my supposedly dissertation -writing months and I am embarrassingly still starting my first draft. Draft is an ambitious word here really. Lets say I have merely started on anything. Reflecting on last couple of months, I have been yo-yo'ing being pressured about losing weight, feeling devastated about going home for good, empty personal life, half empty social life( love the pessimism I have going on) and of course, figuring out the next step. I put a lot of pressure on starting this project because I really want to make it happen this time. Finally, I can tailor this into something that could be my golden ticket to my dream satisfying job. So far, I am still figuring out what I intend to do and how I am going to make this 15 000 words thesis work to my advantage. Depressing. But time is running out, I had to scratch my "golden ticket" mumbo jumbo and get my gears on to reverse- I joke. Accelerate. That is what I am going to work on. How am I going to make the next two months effective and productive. I wish I have a structure , but I realise that I am on chapter one in the life towards complete independence. No ready-made guidelines- I am going to make them. And with God's will, I fucking will.
Ephiphany Part 2 • Opuss № I