25 May 2012
[this story contains some dark themes that I myself find quite unnerving.]
"HEADS WILL ROLL"
The sickening chant of hundreds of people willing me to die was not something that I could simply ignore. Especially not now; neck secured tightly between blocks of wood, arms restrained behind my back, the itching knowledge of the blade meters above eagerly hanging by a thread.
"OFF WITH HER HEAD"
The strangling restraints bruised my thin wrists, and my throat burned from where my neck pressed against the splintered wood. I didn't know how much longer I could last like this, but that decision wasn't up to me. A stagnant piece of fruit suddenly hurtled towards me and hit the wood just wide of my head, squirting rancid juice across my cheek. Some of the juice dribbled down onto my crucifix necklace dangling before my eyes, giving the impression of blood weeping from the tiny saviour's golden skin. I blinked some of the liquid out of my eyes, nonplussed.
"HEADS WILL ROLL"
It was all coming to a close soon, and I didn't care. In fact, I wanted it to happen. As I strained my head up to look at my hating audience, I couldn't help but smile. Genuinely. The smile of someone who knew what she was doing, who knew this wasn't the end. I blew the matted fringe out of my eyes and my thoughts floated with the images of what would come next; my afterlife.
My smile only grew wider as the executioner neared, his steel boot caps tapping against the wooden panels whilst flurries of white clouds and pure light enlightened my imagination. The grand pearled gates emerged through the thick mist in my mind, then suddenly scattered away at the sound of the booming voice.
"Miss Monique Isabelle Colliard," his voice cut through the chanting crowd, "if you wish to choose the words with which you shall depart this world, you may do so now."
A silent prayer ran through my head and my lips remained sealed.
"Your silence will be understood as a refusal to comply."
My lips moved ever so slightly under my breath as I recited the prayer I knew so well. The executioner seemed almost sad for me, like I was making a mistake.
"Very well"
I closed my eyes tight, anticipating my journey, the wondrous world I would enter. The glorious gates…
"Ready"
…the eternal light…
Ch, chink. Thump.
…The love of my lord, and saviour, and…
I opened my eyes and found myself staring up at the crowd. They seemed horrified, wide-eyed in terror and disbelief at what they were seeing.
What was wrong?
I tried to turn my head to see what they were looking at but it was stuck tight. I could just about see the executioner standing to the side, just out of my field of vision. I tried to speak out, but something seemed to be preventing me. It was becoming harder and harder to move my eyes, they felt heavy and tired. I focussed them on a young terrified boy in the crowd, allowing them to rest for a moment.
I blinked.
His face went immediately pale, and his mother quickly reacted to catch him before his quavering legs gave in.
What was going on?
My eyeballs now felt as though they were becoming stuck inside their sockets. Using the last of my energy I took one final sweep and then let them set in place.
Why couldn't I feel my arms? Why couldn't I feel… anything?
A scream erupted from somewhere in the crowd, and I could see one of the officials walking towards them, wafting them away with their hands. Mutterings and under-the-breath whispers were uttered as they were directed away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the steel boot caps of my executioner slowly making their way towards me.
"This one sure did take her time to go," came the muffled voice. All of a sudden I felt the cold grasp of the executioner's gloved hands around my cheeks and I was lifted aggressively into the air.
How was he doing this? Why can't I stop…
Then it hit me. As he brought me up to his chest I saw my own body illuminated in the evening sun, slumped in the back of a cart. Without a head. This can't be right, this just can't be. What about the glorious gates? The eternal light? … The afterlife?
The executioner threw me down on to the cart and I rolled around until finally settling in a position unblinkingly overlooking my own mutilated corpse. If I could have closed my eyes, I would have. If I could have shed a tear, I would have. If I could have screamed and shouted at the top of my lungs for someone to help me, then I would have deafened the whole village doing so. But there was no helping me now.
After an eternity the cart had completed its journey, and I felt the grubby touch of the driver's rough hands against my skin. The world spun violently for a moment before I collided at the bottom of a deep pit, staring straight up at the sky. A shovel was embedded in the ground several feet above me, and the soil felt moist and cool. As the driver left I began to feel something crawling beneath me. I wanted to dive out of the way but I remained rooted to the spot. The creature slowly slithered up onto my cheek and made its way to my nose. It tickled as it squirmed up into my nostril and I felt its every movement as it crawled into my brain.
The driver returned heaving my lifeless body and flinging it uncaringly into the pit beside me. He grabbed the shovel and started to hurl mounds of dirt. Flecks of mud stuck to the whites of my eyes and fell into my half-open mouth. I wanted to scream out, yell for him to stop. More dirt fell into my pupils. The bug in my brain continued to itch as it scrambled around its new home. More dirt. More itching. Eventually my vision was completely obscured. Everything went silent.
Silence and black. That's all there was now.
Al I could do was wait…
and wait…
and wait….
and wait….
forever.
"HEADS WILL ROLL" • Opuss № I