22 April 2012
First and foremost, what the fuck? (wait..can I even say fuck on here..?) Is this normal? Is it normal to be staying up like this, unable to sleep, waiting impatiently for a person's return before they've even left? Is it okay to feel like you're going to die in the ten days you're alone? Are these average teenage feelings? I'm not sure I've ever been so attached to one person before. It's surreal. How did this happen? How does love blindside you? Is this some sort of joke played by a very bored Cupid? Or I have I somehow managed to unintentionally run into the love of my life (my soul mate, perhaps) before I truly even reach adulthood? This feels so different, it must be closer to the latter. What is going on? How can it be healthy to feel like you are actually being ripped apart limb by limb when you are detached from a person for more than 24 hours? Our days are already full of "come cuddle"s and "I miss you"s. what happens now? I've never felt so alone. Conceivably it could be that I'm simply being dramatic, but can you blame me? I'm 17 and the boy that I have spent the majority of my free time with in the past year and a half and who has been my best friend, as well as a nonstop texting companion for more than two years now is leaving. What do I do? What happens when you are truly alone? No close family nearby, no parents, worst of all, no Ty. Most teenagers would probably throw a party. Nope. All my time spent with Ty. It's really kind of pathetic. I guess I'll get through, I'll try. I think I can probably handle a few breakdowns in the two days until take off and the ten days of anxious anticipation until the arrival back. To most people this will sound like the rantings of a melodramatic teenager, which, to be fair, it is. But those of you who are really, really in love (or have been) cannot say that they themselves have never experienced feelings like this under at least similar circumstances. I will try and sleep now. Ranting on the Internet to random people is, in truth, very relaxing and refreshing. I'm off to cuddle my bear, drenched in the aroma of Ty. if anybody has read this to the end..(y) I take my hat off to you. Sir/Madame, you must be extremely bored.
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