12 June 2012
Just thought I'd share this with you. Okay?
So, there I was. Dancing crazily to Arcade Fire with my hair tied on top of my head and a dustpan and brush in my hands. Don't ask. I was cleaning out the bunny area. Allow me to explain: my bunnies aren't normal bunnies. They are HOUSE bunnies. They're not normal house bunnies either. They are free range. They are allowed to go wherever they please. With the exception of the study. So, I had to clean out their main den in the dining room. Of course, because it was ME doing this, it was destined to go insanely wrong. Anyone else would've managed it without trouble, I'm telling you. So, raving to Arcade Fire, I began cleaning. I emptied the hi hitch of newspaper and knelt down to rid the hutch floor of any detritus. And proceeded to kneel in a pool of spilt water from their upturned bowl.
FEATHER: 0 BUNNIES: 1
Strike free much cussing and foul -censored- language, I went upstairs and changed into a new pair of shorts. I came downstairs again with an iron resolve. Wielding the brush like a sword, I advanced towards the enemy lines (the hutch). I then cleaned it all out and replaced it with new litter trays and newspaper and hay. However, I underestimated my enemies' Machiavelli-ness. Ember and Midnight, the two rabbits in question had been suspiciously quiet until now. Suddenly, as I was just withdrawing from the hutch, Midnight decided to jump into the hutch (where my head was) and wee as she did it. Thusly peeing in my face.
FEATHER:0 BUNNIES:2
As if the humiliation wasn't enough, Ember proceeded to start crapping on top of my legs whilst I knelt in the pee, with pee in my face.
FEATHER:0 BUNNIES:3
End result: Feather leaves arena completely humiliated by two alarm-clock-sized creatures.
A 'Screwball' Adventure. • Opuss № I