19 September 2012
On the outside I stand strong, So trust me as I say, It's hard for me to write this post, But I'll admit these here today:
I'M AFRAID of darkness, That overwhelming black, Sitting in my bed at night, I wait for its attack.
I'M AFRAID of strangers, Hear stories on the news, So much to be put at risk, So much that one could lose.
I'M AFRAID of spiders, Their spindly arms, their eyes, Even though they're tiny, It's a predator that lies.
I'M AFRAID of dying, too, Of death - though aren't we all? I know I cannot live forever, That one day we must fall.
I'M AFRAID of targeting, Of doing something wrong, Of getting yelled at, so, so loud, Singled from the throng.
I'M AFRAID of finding 'love', It's stupid, yes, I know, Of being intimate with one, These days it's like a show.
I'M AFRAID for family, For friends, for all I love, I forget how life can simply break, And all it take's a shove.
So really underneath my skin, I'm not that brave a girl, I live my days with abstract fears, Knowing they'll unfurl.
At least, though, I'm aware of them, I know just what does scare, Secretly, just to myself, I pretend that they're not there.
My Fears - A Hard Write. • Opuss № I