21 October 2012
- Maybe not for the youngest of readers...! -
I swear to God I didn't mean to do it. I. Swear.
One moment I was just merrily swaggering down the lane that leads to my house, the next... BAM! Completely unpredictable.
How was I to know that a murderous escapee from the local Juvenile Prison Centre had escaped? And, more to the point, was roaming about the ditches next to MY HOUSE.
So... I was strolling down that same road and suddenly I'm flat on my back, and some fella in orange prison-overalls is standing over me!
Well. He looked downright delusional if you don't mind me saying. Wild hair. Wild eyes. Wild disposition. WILD EVERYTHING.
And there's the problem. I quite liked the wild, tousled look of this fella. In fact, I liked it QUITE A LOT.
So I'm sorry to say, but we proceeded to exchange... 'Greetings'... In the ditch. On the way to my house.
Shocking, I know.
And, after just a few crazy moments of hot-convict-sex, we fell asleep. Wrapped in each others arms.
How romantic? Not very.
Next thing I know, I'm waking up with my clothes missing, and only one of my red shoes in the middle of the God-damned road, and the prisoner's overalls lying next to me.
THE BASTARD STOLE MY CLOTHES.
So there you have it. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to sleep with an escaped convict.
It just... Happened.
One Red Shoe. • Opuss № I