29 April 2012
Whilst engaging in my routine Monday internet mince about, I stumbled upon the teachings of Dr. A. Georges Sabongui, who claims to have contorted with the science and art of Social Networking, and compressed the essence of this god send into a tiny book with words that us normal beings can understand. Thanks Doc.
Now, as Moses conveyed God’s 10 commandments to the children of Israel, Sabongui reveals that there are 10 principles to enjoy a Nirvana of success and self - well being, all from within the comfort of your own living room, apparently.
I managed myself a second of down to earth reflection and steal myself a moment away from the lustrous rewards that this wonder-book promised. I began to wonder to myself ‘Social networking offers us what, exactly?’
Now I took it upon myself to consider what self proclaimed ‘network self advancers’ could offer, other than an inept aptitude for self advancement. That’s when I realised the answer to this was nothing or to be exact, fuck all. The word ‘offer’ normally implies an exchanged acceptance for consideration, which means to say this book offers you the possibility of entering a social like zen, only to then offer shag all back into the world. Give and give again? Not on your nelly sir.
Upon considering this, my mind slipped into day dream; the world was in a state of chaos. ‘The art of social networking’ was being handed out as propaganda to fame hungry socialites. Ordinary people became famous for simply ‘knowing people’ and would then come to star in reality programmes for the famous, for nothing other than being famous. Just before my brain managed to scream ‘mercy!’ and take it’s final bow, I found myself back at my desk and staring at a half finished mug of Kenco’s finest. “Hurrah!” I thought to myself, whilst loading a local news website, to which I was then presented with an image of Chloe Simms, rich and happy, looking at me and smiling…
Shit
Social Networking, The Art Of • Opuss № I