13 June 2012
I'm tired in my mind And weary in my soul Trudging through every day Trying to reach my goals
My aching limbs are hurting Cutting right to the bone I'm struggling to raise my arms In this I am alone
Every night I lie here My deepest thoughts are haunting Despite my very best efforts The prospect of sleep is daunting
Sleep is somewhat elusive But I wonder what awaits In my destructive dreams This tiredness frustrates
My lids are trying to close My eyes are starting to droop All I need is some respite To allow my ideas to regroup
I'm curled up in my armchair Warding off the fears Light is piercing my sight Watering with tears
The tv is blaring for comfort To give me company So I'm not left in solitude To face my dreams, lonely
It's not just the insomnia It's the draining effort I need To keep up with the busy times And stressful life I lead
It may not seem like much to you But it's hard to be this age Stuck between two other worlds On different sides of the page
Not quite able to be an adult But no longer a true young teen I'm trapped eternally in limbo Nursing my disquiet with caffeine
I strive to complete each challenge But my heart is no longer in it I'm attempting to achieve ambitions I'm worried, I'll admit
I probably shouldn't be saying all this But it just comes flooding out I can't use my voice to complain But in writing I can shout
I bottle up my feelings And it is killing me calmly So I do what I can to express myself And I fight with my own army
An army of ifs and buts An army of quotes and quips An army of the written word At my fingertips
I can use my skills with ink To weave a protective shield To try to offload all my struggles The pencil is the weapon I wield
I sorry to rain on your parades You don't want to know my pains I try to never show weakness I know this may seem vain
I am a troubled soul I'm worried about how I appear I like to show I'm stronger That I don't give in to fear
But some days it's just too much Inside I've built a wall On days like these it starts to crumble I wonder when it will fall
I shake inside with the thought That someone somewhere will see My exposed heart left on my sleeve And take advantage of me
I'm in pain and I think I show it I'm more weary than I thought It's not like me to let it all out To reveals the battles being fought
I may be waging a war inside But I can fight with words I'll find my second wind I'm going with the birds
I'm a sparrow, or at least I was I've forgotten how to fly But I'm damned if I'm giving in So I may as well try!
I.Sparrow
Weary • Opuss № I