30 December 2012
Wow, I did a lot of digging and found old paper where I wrote this poem when I was about 9 or 10 years old
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A beating heart A heart that beats Only to beats and nothing else What is a heart without a soul, A abyss of emptiness void Peered into my soul "you feel nothingness, don't you?" It sneered into my thought No, I don't, I whimpered No, I don't, I whispered No, I don't, I whispered again, NO, I SURE DAMN DON'T, I yelled, I SURE FUCKING DON'T, I screamed into abyss of void As I clenched my fist, Thick and dark crimson red flows Drips, drips, drips the sound it made As puddle of dark red crimson grew A sharp pain electrifying throughout arm I lowered my eyes as I lift My clenched fist, and opened To my pleasure gasp There lay in my palm, a sharp edged razor I bring sharp edged razor to my wrist And I cut, and I cut And I cut some more I cut to feel, I cut to know and I cut to see the truth I cut to feel alive, I cut to know the meaning of being alive I cut to see I am alive I cut to feel the pain I cut to know the experience of pain I cut to see the blood of the pain I cut to feel thick and sticky liquid I cut to know what blood is I cut to see the dark and thick Crimson red flowing as smoothies I cut again, and I cut some more Deeper I got, The more I feel Knowing I cannot stop Seeing the world turning Spinning around As dark crimson red continues to flow Falling, I feel the falling I feel huge impact of pressure I must have hit the ground Darkness has creeped in Surrounding me Void of darkness has consumed me There I lay, frozen with coldness Paralyzed with death There I lay, a goofy grin Spreaded across my face As I no longer needed to feel No longer needed to know No longer needed to see
And So I Cut • Opuss № I