29 January 2013
It's funny how good news can make me feel lighter than air, like my insides are full of laughing gas and helium, like I'm made of some magical new element that is strong and powerful, yet light and flexible. I suppose it's natural then, that bad news should have the opposite effect, making my limbs as heavy as hewn rock, my head feel as if it is filled with molten lead, my stomach grinding with broken clockwork.
Today was a bad news day.
I called J for a chat seeing as I hadn't heard from him for a few days, only to find he has been very ill. Very. To the point he nearly ended up in hospital, and if he hadn't been dragged to the doctor by the family he lives with it could have been a lot worse. And he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to worry when there's nothing I can do.
So of course I'm now worrying myself stupid and will be calling him every day until he's better. He's on so many pills he'd rattle if you shook him and is under strict orders not to even get out of bed until Thursday.
I pointed out to him that it's probably his own fault for drinking the water in Nepal and if he neglects to tell me about something so serious in the future then he will definitely be in mortal danger from my foot up his arse. If I didn't love him so much I'd kill him myself, but hearing him sound so tired and sorry for himself I just couldn't stay mad; I found myself instead making a lot of "aww" sounds and whimpering like an idiot.
It's silly because he's going to be fine, but it made me realise what a wreck I'd be if anything happened to him. And it cuts me that I can't be there to look after him when he needs it. He's a terrible wimp when he's ill (as I have experienced when playing nurse before) and I just wish he wasn't alone, half way around the world in a strange and worryingly unsanitary country. But he is, so all I can do is call him a lot and try to make him laugh with our random conversations about car boot sales, 'Escape From Colditz' board games and the face Jimmy Page pulls when playing a solo.
At least he will be home in two months. I'll have plenty of time to pamper him when he comes to stay with me. That's good news worth hanging on to.
Good News, Bad News, Nepal Sucks • Opuss № I