13 September 2012
Johnny,
Hey homeslice! How are you? Hot? Sick of curry yet? Today I have mostly been writing, I do love it, I wish I could make it my career. Not that I don't like to teach, I love working with children, but my true love has always been writing. I suppose I've never thought myself good enough to make a go of it. And I need a job at the same time, to get by. So I'll teach, for now.
Hehe I was just thinking about that time we went for what was supposed to be one quick pint at the Swan, and you ended up pretty tipsy. I was driving, but I think I had more than I should have. It was getting late and I wanted to go home but you were in the mood for getting wrecked - it was nearly the Christmas holidays at this point, so fair enough! You were complaining about walking me back to my car (like you always do, but you walk with me anyway) so I, half-jokingly, said I'd do you a...ahem, favour, if you walked me back. You laughed, you didn't believe me. But you walked me back, up that bloody hill that I do not miss, your arm slung casually around my shoulder. I'm not really sure what I was thinking but I remember saying I wasn't kidding, about my offer. When we got to the car we both sort of stood there, just looking at each other. I said it wasn't going to happen unless you kissed me - so you did. A lot. We got in my car and...well, I'm sort of embarrassed to write about the rest. But it was...fun. And good. You certainly know what you're doing, even if you do a have a tendency to be a little rough when you get 'carried away,' so to speak. We even went back to yours for a while, trying not to wake the land lady, but you were...well, too drunk. If I had been more drunk, it would have been fine but, as it was, it felt wrong. I didn't want you to wake up the next day and regret it. I didn't want to regret it. So I left. Didn't mean I wasn't thinking about it. A lot.
Sorry, I'll stop. It's...I don't know. Somehow this writing, remembering our brief but fiery year, makes me feel better. I still miss you like hell but it's like a bit of you is here. I just hope you're ok with it. When you finally get to read this! You're gonna have some serious reading to do when you get all these letters at once! I should make them into a book. Hey, there's an idea...
I hope you are safe and happy. I hope someone is looking after you!
Love, always Kim xxx
Letters To Johnny - Nine • Opuss № I