9 May 2012
I imagined it would be awkward between us following our drunken make-out, but Monday morning you were your usual cheeky, cheerful self. We were, if anything, just even better friends than we had been before. Possibly because you didn't remember everything that happened, but mainly because you are so easy-going.
If it had happened once, then maybe I could believe that it was just a drunken mistake. But it kept happening. I know we were both lonely and looking for some escapism, but you...you could have easily gone out and found anyone, a woman far more beautiful than I am, for that kind of fun. But you didn't. You found me. And the next time we did more than share a drunken kiss.
We weren't always drunk either; granted, when we had sex we were both suffering from colds and dosed up with flu-relief, but I don't think that counts as being under the influence. It was...good. Passionate, fun and just dirty enough for my liking. Somehow you knew exactly what to do and how to do it; no other man had ever been that intuitive and sensitive. It made me want you all the more.
I thought things might be strange between us; I was a little embarrassed but I actually felt good. Normal. Safe.
Bur it's been a while since anything has happened between us. I think I ruined the fun by getting emotionally attached. I guess telling you I'm in love with you made you feel that the casual sex might be inappropriate.
So now I'm left waiting and wanting, hoping you might change your mind. Hoping you might want to spend another night with me before you disappear out of my life. Something to remember you by; something for me to hold on to. Because these memories will keep my heart beating...for a while.
Reflections - Part Four • Opuss № I