20 May 2012
Today is good. Life is good. I am surrounded by all things wonderful. I have counted my blessings and have found nothing wanting. There is no void. All is light.
Then I open my eyes.
The wall is still there. I dreamt it had been removed. I dreamt that it just floated away without a word. I cannot believe it is still there. I dreamt I was sat in the front garden enjoying the view. Now I stare at a wall. It fills my vision. You would think that I could have been left with a door, a window even. No. Just a wall. If I cannot climb it or walk through it, how can others?
I think I like my wall, it is quiet here. Sometimes I can hear voices on the other side of my wall. Mostly though it is just silent.
I close my eyes; it can be tiring you know, supporting this wall. Sometimes I need to rest a little. My ears pick up a sound. I have heard it before. I think someone is chipping away a part of my wall. Isn’t that kind? Maybe I could chip from this side and the task wouldn’t be so big a thing.
Was going to ask the someone to stop. Didn’t have to in the end. All I had to do was stop chipping and the someone went away. This is a good thing; they might have damaged my wall.
I have discovered that my wall is not all that it seems. It has many faces you know. Today it started warm and comforting. Then when the someone was chipping, it didn’t feel so warm and comforting. For a moment I felt its weight, I actually thought it would come down on me. Then I was sure it was not my friend. I wanted it to go away, I didn’t like it. I began to chip away at the solidness of it.
I couldn’t do it though. After all, it is only trying to protect me, and it does its job well. Who am I to criticize it? Hasn’t it been loyal and true all these years?
I would like to walk beyond my wall I think. Or maybe not.
The Wall • Opuss № I