20 May 2012
That night I went to my aunts grave. I sat there in her favourite dress of mine, a rich cream coloured dress that I knew Nate loved too. I put down a white rose, as I did whenever I went there. It was sad to see the lack of other flowers, only my white ones dotted around the foot of her headstone.
I sat in peace for a while. It was so peaceful and quiet here, and I felt her presence with me whenever I sat there. It was desolate - it always was. I heard footsteps on the path, making me jump. The sun was going down, so I couldn't make out the figure coming towards me, so I stood and strained my eyes to see who was coming towards me. As he came closer, I knew who it was. His bright white teeth glinted in the remaining sunlight, and his golden hair still shone. I sat back down, facing my aunt's grave again. Nate sat down too, and stayed there gingerly for a few moments before asking "What was today all about?"
I didn't know how to answer. So instead I turned my head away from his, and I felt a tear run down my face. He obviously picked up on this, and he put his arm around me.
"I know the past few months have been unbearable for you, and it must be hard to see Mollie and I so happy, but you'll find love too. You know how beautiful you are, and I shouldn't say but I know loads of my friends like you. You should try dating one of them, they're not all jerks, and I'll make sure they treat you right. I just don't want Mollie to get in the way of our friendship."
"I know. It's just, nothing's gone right for me recently, and I don't want to lose you," and after a pause that seemed a little too long I added "and Mollie. Obviously."
"Okay T," he said as he put his arm around me and allowed me to rest my head on his shoulder. My heart sunk deep into my gut, as I imagined him being my boyfriend, and us sitting here for hours on end, saying nothing but understanding each other's body language enough to know what each other are thinking.
As I closed my eyes and dreamed of being with him for the rest of my life, I felt his arm shift, it ran along my shoulders and I jolted awake. I looked across at him, and he grinned at me, before kissing me on the forehead, and telling me he was heading back to the school. He didn't need to say why, but I knew the reason began with an M.
Love You So: PART FOUR • Opuss № I