25 May 2012
We exchanged messages that night. He'd told Mollie he didn't want to see her that night, and when she asked why, he said he wasn't feeling well.
We started off talking the way we used to, about our lives and how each other was. It felt like such a long time since we'd spoken properly, but this evening it felt like a wedge had been lifted from between us. We were both crossing a boundary that we knew we shouldn't cross, and although we didn't know what lay ahead, or what might try to stop our journey, we knew we wouldn't be walking alone.
We took a plunge into a pool that we didn't know. The waters may be dangerous, and there may be rocks, but we knew that as long as we had each other we would be okay.
As the evening got later, the girls in my new room flocked in and out, bustling to get ready for school the next morning. Some folded their outfits at the end of their beds, some tidied books into their bags, or put their sports kit in their bags. But in the middle of this bee hive of activity, lay the queen bee; contently texting love of her life.
Isabelle came and sat next to me, and asked me how my secret meeting went. I told her it was Nate, and that we had made up, but I didn't reveal the kiss. I didn't know if I could fully trust her yet, but at the same time I didn't want to sound overly secretive. Mollie was manipulative, I knew that, and no doubt she'd want a 'man on the inside' of my new found friendship group.
As the rest of the girls got into bed I still lay in my dress and sandals, looking up at the cracks in the ceiling: different from the ones in my old room. I thought about Mollie, and how hurt she would be if she found about what was happening. She'd never trust me again, and she's probably never talk to me again either. I know how hurt I was when she dated him, and surely this is just the same...
As these guilty feelings were manifesting in my mind, my heart took over, as I saw my phone light up. Another text from Nate which read:
"I can't stop thinking about you.. Are you sure you can't come to my room tonight? I wish we could talk face to face :( xxxxxxx"
"We can, let me FaceTime you? Xxxxxxx" was my response, and immediately he sent back "That would be incredible xxxxxxxx"
As I did, I felt nervous. He was my best friend, and I saw him everyday so why was I so nervous?
Then it connected, and I saw his face. Slightly blurred in the darkened room, but still beautiful. He smiled and said hello. We chatted for a bit, before he noted that I was still wearing my dress. He then said:
"you look really beautiful. Ten times better than Mollie looked in that gold dress a few nights ago. I don't know why I ever fell for her instead of you, you're incredible"
I didn't know how to respond, as when he was saying this romantic speech I was distracted. His camera had shifted as he spoke, and I realised that he was sleeping without a shirt. This isn't a problem, but he was beautiful, and his skin was perfectly tanned. I remembered back to the evening we'd just spent together, and I smiled, remembering how that very chest felt when I rested my head on it. I can still hear his heartbeat now.
"Hey," he said," meet me tomorrow morning before school by the bench, I want to show you something"
"I'll be there!"
"Goodnight gorgeous"
"Goodnight" I said sighing and looking into his eyes one more time before ending the call. I went back into my new room, and noticed that everyone else was either asleep or about to be. It was almost 11pm, so I decided to go to bed too. I lay my head on the mass of pillows, and allowed myself to drift into them, and to let them absorb me. Before I knew it I was asleep, dreaming of that boy...
Love You So: PART THIRTEEN • Opuss № I