8 July 2012
-TIFFANY-
"She should be here any minute" I said to the nurse, who was patiently waiting for Ellie to come and join us. "In a few more minutes I'm afraid we'll have to begin, or we'll run over with your slot" "Of course, I understand" I said to the nurse, looking across at Nate who was stood up alongside me. He squeezed my hand, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. I was half lying half sitting up on a hospital bed, with my shirt pulled up to reveal my stomach. From my angle, my bump was looking bigger than it ever did when I was wearing clothes, which had given me a slightly depressed feeling. I could already feel the body I'd worked on for years slipping away; but at the same time a sense of anticipation was growing. I secretly couldn't wait until my bump was bigger, until I could really imagine a baby growing inside me. "We're going to have to start, is that alright?" the nurse said to us, applying the gel to my stomach. "Yes" Nate said, looking at me again. His eyes were sparkling with excitement and joy. I squeezed his hand tightly as the slight pain of the cold gel rushed over my skin. "Sorry, it's a bit cold!" "That's okay, nothing I haven't been warned about!" I said through slightly gritted teeth. It was no unknown fact that I despised the cold, so this wasn't exactly my cup of tea. "Okay, your baby should be on the screen in a few seconds" she said, running something else over my stomach. I didn't see it though, I was too busy looking at Nate's face. His eyes were focused on the screen, and as soon as they melted, I could tell the baby was up. His whole face relaxed, but his eyes never left that screen. His lips parted, jaw dropping slightly and his eyes started to well up with tears. At that point, I decided to look as well. I felt like I shouldn't look: I wanted to be surprised. But at the same time, I knew I wanted to, my whole body wanted to. Keeping my eyes away from that screen was proving impossible, and they were drawn to it like two strong magnets. As soon as I turned my head, I saw my child for the very first time. The head, the limbs; all were clearly visible. As I looked at the black screen, with my tiny grey baby on it, it all seemed real. Like having this baby had all been a dream before, but now it was a reality. I felt my eyes transfixed to the screen, but as I felt lips touch my ear, I turned my head to see Nate. He was kissing me almost in congratulations. "I'm so proud of you" he said to me, continuing to kiss me. Those five words struck my heart hard. Throughout my childhood I'd rarely heard anyone say they were proud of me; not my parents, not any member of my family. To finally feel like someone was proud of me was such an overwhelming feeling, it sent my head spinning. I felt tears gather up in my eyes too, not knowing whether it was the knowing that I really was pregnant; the fact that my child was visible before me; or the fact that someone was finally proud of me. Tears slowly cascaded down my cheeks, as I thought of all those three things. I suddenly felt an unknown hand brushing them away. "Don't cry" the voice said, and as I looked up through my teary eyes, I saw Ellie. She looked equally in awe as I did, but she was emitting a warmth that made the final tears stop flowing.
-NATE- As Ellie and Tiffany spoke, we all walked out of the hospital together. I couldn't pay attention to what was being said though; I was too focused on soaking up every detail of my child's appearance. I hadn't let go of the picture since we received it, and my eyes hadn't left it in that same time. "Nate?" a voice called from across the parking lot. "Sandy!" I said, walking over to her, causing the two girls to stop. "Been to your first scan?" she said, hugging me. "Yes!" I said, brimming over with excitement again. "Can I take a look?" she said, as I handed over the picture. "Oh Nate, you must be so proud!" "I really am, I just can believe this is all happening!" "Oh sweetheart" she said, hugging me again before handing back the picture. "How have you been?" I said to Sandy, knowing that she'd been going through a rough patch in her marriage. "Not great, but today's about you! I'm so happy!" "Sandy, you need to talk to someone. Why don't you come round tomorrow?" "That'd be lovely, I'm off work in the morning" "That's sorted then! Here" I said, scribbling our new address on the back of a receipt that was in my pocket. "See you at 10?" "sounds good!" I said, hugging her one last time before catching up with the girls. As soon as I did, I made sure the picture was safely in my pocket, and I put my arm around Tiffany's shoulders. "I really am so proud of you two" I said, placing a hand on her stomach and kissing her on the lips. "Thank you" she replied, looking teary again. "Not many people tell me that, so it really does mean a lot" "Oh baby.. I'm sorry" I said, realising why. I stopped so I could hug her properly. "I've always been proud of you, don't ever forget that"
Love You Too: PART FOURTY SIX • Opuss № I