17 August 2012
-NATE-
"What's wrong? Surely that's all good news?" I asked Tiffany as soon as she'd got in the car and slammed the door, to my annoyance.
"It doesn't matter. But yes the first part was great" she said, staring vacantly out of the window again.
"T, please tell me what's wrong?"
"Nate please, I'm fine"
"No you're not. And we aren't leaving until you've told me" I said, taking my keys out of the ignition and putting them in my pocket. "Well?"
"Fine!" she moaned "Sandy basically told me to put on some inches and weight, right?"
"Yes, but it's all for the baby's--"
"What about you though Nate? Last night I thought I'd lost you to the only girl I know with a better figure than me, and now I'm expected to put on weight? How do I know you'll still want me after we've had the baby and I can't lose the weight? Then what? I spend the rest of my life overweight, lazing around on the couch and eating KFC and Cheetos all day long with a husband who has affairs and can't bear to look at me?"
"You really think I only love you because of how you look?"
"I think that's half the reason, at least half. And when you take away half of your love it isn't really worth it. That's when divorces happen"
"Baby, please. So what if you put on weight? You'll never be obese, even if you tried, and of you keep swimming and playing hockey then you'll just get muscular, then you'll be seriously hot. Please, we have to avoid any chance of a miscarriage again" I said, remembering back to that painful happening.
"Why is it always me that has to sacrifice things though?"
"Oh come on, the baby's growing inside you, isn't that an obvious question? I'm giving up a lot too you know"
"What Nate?"
"I'm giving up school for the end of the year, I'm going to swim less, I'm giving up having any kind of life as a college student"
"Did you think about that before you asked me to marry you?" Tiffany said, going quiet.
"I didn't mean it like that baby, I love you and I love us, but I don't want you to think that I'm not giving as much up as you"
"As a mother I have to look after this child for the rest of my life"
"So do I?"
"Babies can last without fathers" she said, clearly speaking from past experience.
"You know I'm not going to abandon you, so please don't say that"
"Maybe this isn't a good idea. Maybe the miscarriage was a sign that we shouldn't do this so early on in our relationship"
"What are you saying? Do you want an abortion?" I said, taken aback totally by her change of mind.
"No of course I don't! I just want you to promise me that whatever I'm giving up for this family won't end up in you leaving me"
"Well I promise I won't. I'd understand your concern if we weren't married, but I thought getting married was supposed to prove to the other that we won't leave each other?"
"That's all I wanted to hear. I've got to finish my essay by tomorrow so can we go now?"
"Yeah okay" I said, still amazed at how she was acting. It was like someone had cast a spell on her from a young age, that made her revolt against pregnancy and having a family. Perhaps it was her own bad experiences with family, but whatever it was she had no proper reason to be this way with me.
I started to doubt whether she really wanted this child, and whether an abortion was in fact a better option, but I decided against bringing the topic up again. Now she was in this mood, the last thing I wanted was for her to actually agree to an abortion, as I was struggling my hardest to keep this beacon of light in my life alive.
-TIFFANY-
"Mrs Guy?" I said, tentatively knocking on her door.
"Tiffany? Is that you?"
"Yes, sorry I thought if hand this in now as its done" I said, handing over my 2100 word essay.
"How long did you manage to make it?" she asked, counting the pages to make sure it roughly fitted.
"2157 words exactly. And I managed to write entirely about colour in the novel"
"Congratulations! Very impressive. Well, I'll enjoy reading that later!" she said, putting it in her Gucci handbag. She was quite an incredible teacher really: she dressed immaculately, and as she puts it 'the same way your mother does: she's my icon!', and unlike other teachers, she didn't migrate into the drab 'matching jacket and skirt plus mouldy coloured shirt' look that sprung out of nowhere in the winter months. Instead, she embraced clean silhouettes and sharp tailoring that was really admirable.
"Are you alright? You look a little distant?" she added after pushing her chic squared glasses up her face, which was framed by shoulder length curls of brown hair.
"Oh I may as well tell you now... Yesterday, when I had to leave the lesson, I went to the hospital with Nate"
"Oh dear! Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. We were just worried about the baby"
"The...? You're pregnant again?" she asked in shock.
"Yes, so we needed to make sure I was healthy enough to carry it to avoid... Well you know" I said, trailing off.
"Yes yes of course. Oh well I'm glad you're alright, and congratulations! That's why you're taking your exams early?"
"Yes it is, but the problem is I'm not alright. The nurse basically told me I wasn't fit to carry a child as I was too small"
"Oh god, what's happening then?"
"I'm having to pack on some serious pounds" I began, looking at her expression of despair "I know, that's how I feel too. But I'm just worried that Nate'll go elsewhere if I get bigger, and not bigger from the pregnancy"
"Oh I'm sure that won't happen. You two seem so solid, I can't see that ever happening! I was worried about the world of high fashion, what will we do without you?!" she said, smiling mischievously.
"I'm sure you'll survive, with an icon like you on team!"
"What will you do with all your clothes?" she asked, like it was a funeral and they were sending the clothes of the deceased to various people.
"Well I was going to grow out of them anyway with my bump, but I don't know.. Oh god, this is the end of this isn't it?" I said, placing my hands just above my hips to indicate to my tiny waist.
"No it's not, don't worry! Once you're as gorgeous as you, it'll never leave you!" she said, smiling warmly at me.
"Thank you. Anyway, I should get off. I left just as Nate suggested going to tell our families the pregnancy news so we'd better go and do that. Thank you for your advice!"
"No problem, any time you need anything just come and ask! I'll hand this back to you in the lesson tomorrow, and congratulations on the baby!" she said, beaming.
"Thank you" I said, waving as I shut the door behind me.
Love You Too: PART NINETY FOUR • Opuss № I