9 September 2012
Started writing again, got a bit bored with it so there's a gap of around 6 months, and it's now all written in the third person!
"I'm back gorgeous, sorry I'm late" Nate called as he hurried into the living room. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick" Tiffany replied, turning her head and jumping up to embrace her husband. "I'm sorry, the exam overran and then Charlie wanted to go for drinks and I just lost track of time" he said, hugging her back but breaking it off prematurely to go and see his tiny baby girl, who was tucked up cozily in her crib. "She's fine, I'm sure she'll be pleased to see her daddy" Tiffany said, coming up behind Nate as he started to pick up their baby and cradle her in his arms. Meanwhile, Tiffany nestled down on the couch, her knees brought up to her chest, and she rocked herself gently. So gently in fact, that Nate didn't even notice her as he was so absorbed in their baby. "How was the exam?" she asked, glancing across at the rest of her family. "Yeah good" he responded, tickling his daughters chin and smiling constantly. "Thanks" he added, glancing at his wife very briefly, before doing a double take. "Tiffany, what's the matter?" "Oh Nate" she whispered, burying her head in the soft velvety pillow that had once been positioned under her head. "Hey, hey" he said, carrying the baby over to her "Do you want to hold her?" "Please don't show her to me" Tiffany whispered, covering her eyes as best she could. "Sweetheart, what's going on? What happened today? You were fine this morning" he said, placing the baby back in her crib and sitting alongside his wife, placing a hand on her ankle. "I don't want to do this anymore" "What? Do what anymore?" "This" she said, glancing around her "I went on Facebook today, and I was looking at pictures of everyone at school, at parties, and stories about how many people they're sleeping with and how much they're drinking, or how much they're looking forward to college and the summer" "What are you saying?" Nate said, standing up so he could sit down by her head and cradle her. "I'm almost 19, and I'm already living like a middle aged woman. I'm a mother for gods sake, and I haven't drunk anything for almost a year, and I haven't slept with you for at least five months. It's stupid I know, but it means something to me! I haven't been to a party that wasn't a baby shower or something for such a long time, Nate. I'm worried that people are talking about me at school; about how much I've missed out on" she sobbed, returning to the pillow and not her husbands wanting arms. "I promise you I haven't heard anyone say anything about you. All they've said has been to me or in a conversation with me. No one cares that you haven't been out, I promise" "I care!" "Baby, you knew this would happen when you first got pregnant, so please don't pretend like this is such a shock. I still love you, and if it's too much hard work then I'll help out more. Just tell me what you want and I'll do it" he said, placing his hands awkwardly on the couch, realising that Tiffany wasn't going to lie in them. "You do enough as it is. She's no trouble, but I just feel so... Bleh" she said, grazing her hand brashly over her clothing, frowning at its un-tasteful, bland and seemingly boring shape and fit. "I still think you look a million dollars" he said, resting his hand on her hair and beginning to stroke it, feeling it's matted and knotty lengths which were tied in an inelegant ponytail that brushed her shoulder blades. "I haven't washed my hair for a while, sorry" "I've got an idea. She's asleep now, so why don't you go out this evening. Call up Kim, Milly, maybe Mollie, anyone you want and go out. We'll go and shower now, whilst she'd asleep and-- wait, I meant you go and shower" "Sure you don't want to join me?" Tiffany asked, pointing her wide eyed stare willingly towards Nate. "I should-- I really need to-- what about--. Oh god, what am I saying?" he said, hauling her torso up off the sofa so she was half cradled in his arms and he began to kiss her frantically, making up for all the lost time between them. She slowly popped the buttons on his shirt out of their small holes, until his shirt was hung loosely and undone around his torso, which was still as muscular as ever. For a brief moment, Nate gazed down at his wife, who was half the woman she had once been. He looked at her shirt, stained and crisp from a dollop of baby sick that she'd forgotten to clean off, scented with not the sweet odour of her hand mixed perfume but the pungent stench of baby drool and talcum powder. He looked at her face, once fresh and dewy, bronzed and glowing, but now pale, tired and dull, possessing a certain pallor that came from prolonged hours indoors, alone. He looked at her nails, which were normally perfectly shaped and manicured, but were now chewed down peeling, ragged in the ends. But her eyes, although bare of all makeup, were still as glamorous as usual, possessing a certain charm and a certain humour that contradicted the rest of her appearance. "Tiffany, it's almost 6, maybe you should start calling the girls? They might be busy otherwise" he said, jumping up and going back to the baby, rocking her around and not noting his wife's shock and deflation. "What about...?" "What?" "Fine. I'll go" she said begrudgingly, shutting her eyes and standing up, feeling all the blood rush down to her feet as she trudged towards the stairs, and ascending the staircase before passing along the brief stretch of corridor that was lined with photographic memories of the times Nate and her had once spent together. She stopped in front of a picture of them in The Hamptons, shortly after she'd found out she was pregnant the first time. She placed a single finger on Nate's face, which left a clammy mark against it as her finger was dragged down the smooth glass. "I love you" she whispered to the picture, knowing that was the only thing she could say it to.
Love You Too: PART NINETY SIX • Opuss № I