3 August 2012

-NATE-

The meal that ensued was a pleasant one, with Tiffany and I enjoying civilised conversation with various members of our families and with upper class society; the society we were now a couple in. What wasn't seen, however, was my hand on Tiffany's knee the whole way through, and her hand on top, grazing my thumb with her fingertips. We finally reached that part of proceedings where the cake is cut. When it was unveiled, I realised how truly stunning it was. I'd ordered it, without Tiffany knowing, from an amazing cake decorator in Hoboken, New Jersey, and this was the first time I'd seen my ideas come to life too. It was four tiers, with smaller individual cakes positioned on various tiers of different heights surrounding it. The colour scheme was white, as our whole wedding had been, mainly because of tradition, but also Tiffany's favourite colour. No matter what she said, I knew she wasn't going to move on from loving white, despite her change in life. The cake was made up of various levels, each including one white thing that Tiffany adored. On the bottom layer, it was coated in icing that was created to look like lace, as everyone knew it was her favourite indulgence. The second from the bottom was coated in fondant pearls, which were all coated in a pearlescent shine, which matched Tiffany's nails. And the top tier was coated in sugar flowers, all white roses, and on top was the figurines of the two of us, our faces matching our expressions from our Vogue cover. "Nate... It's perfect" she whispered through watery eyes. "Everything's been perfect" she said, turning to her mother and hugging her, to the delight of the rest of the guests who all cooed at the sight. I reached for the knife, ready to cut the first slice with Tiffany. I reached around her waist, holding her tight, and placed my hands on top of hers as we cut down into the soft sponge. "Make a wish" I whispered into her ear, and as I did, she closed her eyes and smiled. As a small slice was created, she placed it on a plate and we both took it in turns to feed each other. The whole day seemed to be a little false. It really was perfect, but I couldn't help but feel that we weren't being ourselves as we had such highly esteemed guests that we needed to impress. Everything had been like that; the service, the reception, even the build up. So, as a result of this, I took it upon myself to smear buttercream around Tiffany's mouth a little, and as I did so, she retaliated with some on my eyebrows. As the rest of the guests laughed at this childish display of love, the doors to the ballroom swung open violently, and in walked Mollie, rage surging through her veins. "Mollie" Tiffany said, wiping the cake from my face and urging everyone to continue cutting the cake as Nate and I went to clean ourselves up. "Mollie, where have you been?" I asked as we walked back up those same marble stairs from the night of prom. "I've been finding out as much as I can about what Jeremy said at the service" she said, through gritted teeth. "Look, Mollie we should explain everything" Tiffany said, reaching out her hand to touch Mollie's elbow supportively, but Mollie slapped it away. "Hey!" I shouted, stepping in front of Tiffany slightly. "Watch it!" "It's okay honey. Look Mollie, what have you found out?" "For about a week while Nate and I were dating you were going behind my back together. Is that true? Is it?!" "Mollie, I never meant to--" Tiffany began before I cut in, fed up with Mollie causing a scene. "Yes. Yes it is. Alright? We're sorry, but I don't think that will count for much now, so we're going back to our wedding" Mollie stood behind us with her mouth wide open, eyes full of disgust not shock. "I suppose I should expect something like that from you, shouldn't I?" she called after us. "Who are you talking to exactly?" Tiffany turned and said. "You. Everyone said you were a whore for getting pregnant so early in a relationship, and I guess they were right after all. They just didn't know it" "Mollie, leave it!" I called, grabbing Tiffany's arm to stop her from retaliating. "No. Why didn't you leave it, T? Why didn't you just let Nate and I be? Everyone said we were a better couple than you two anyway" "Tiffany, we need to go" I said, walking on and dragging Tiffany behind me, who appeared to be frozen to the ground. "Say that again" Tiffany said quietly, stopping in her tracks. "We were a better couple" Mollie repeated, spite filling her voice. "What's this on my finger?" Tiffany said holding up her ring finger, which was now adorned with two rings. "This finger begs to differ" she said, turning towards me and walking back towards the door. "Just wait until this hits the press. You won't be so squeaky clean then, will you?" Mollie taunted after us, as she stomped around in her heels. "Ignore her" I whispered to Tiffany, as we walked back into a room full of smiling faces and cameras.

-TIFFANY-

The music begun, and we instantly knew that this was our moment to dance together for the very first time. I recognised the song as I had picked it, but it had so many beautiful memories behind it, I couldn't help but walk back through a few of them as my feet were carried towards the dance floor by my heart. My arm was linked with Nate's as he began to lead the dance. Truth be told, neither of us cared much for dancing. We both knew how, as was mandatory in our society, but we didn't indulge in it in the way others did. This song wasn't intended for dancing. It was a song of great loss and remembrance, which was why I'd felt it to be so suitable, not just for me, but for Nate and I as a couple. It was also one of Nate's favourites, and I'd heard 'Signs' by Bloc Party being delicately played on his iPod many a time, whilst everyone else was listening to much more upbeat songs. He listened to it a lot more often nowadays, after the miscarriage, and it seemed to be his mechanism for coping with it all. As our feet made their way elegantly across the floor, with Nate setting the pace and direction, my mind was concreted down onto the floor. We were about a foot apart from each other, my hand on his shoulder and his on my waist, the other outstretched in front of us, in the direction of travel. I knew as soon as this song finished, one of two things would happen: I would either burst into tears or I would carry on dancing, pulling Nate closer and using him as a human barrier to stop anyone seeing how emotional I was. Then my favourite line came. "I can sleep forever these days, as in my dreams I see you again" and that started the emotion flooding. Either that or it was the way Nate looked at me: he gazed down at me, full of emotion himself but a different kind. He was full of love. Now I thought about it, his loving gazes had never seemed quite complete, but now they did. I looked up to his shoulder, where my hand was resting and I looked at my ring finger, realising that I was complete now too. I followed his neck up to his face and he smiled at me, flashing just enough white to make him look gorgeous. I smiled back, blinking feverishly as I tried to stop the tears flowing. The xylophone had started to play again, signalling the end of the song, and Nate took this as his command to pull me closer and to embrace me, stopping anyone from seeing me as I got emotional. Just as he did so, I heard a surge of camera clicks and flashes, and a unison sound of adoration from around the room. "I love you" he whispered into the top of my head, as I heard the other couples in the room migrate towards the dance floor where we were situated. "Can we go outside for a minute?" I whispered. "Sure" he said supportively, keeping his arm wrapped around my shoulder and leading me back up the marble staircase. "What's up?" he said, gesturing sweetly for the small amount of guests to leave the bathroom. "I'm not sad" I said, looking up at him through watery eyes "I'm overwhelmingly happy" "Why are you crying then?" he said, breaking out into a smile and wiping a stray tear from my cheek. "Because I never knew I could be this happy. I thought I'd had my lot when we were thrown together, and after my aunt and the baby.. It's just, I didn't think I could be this happy after all that's happened" "Well you can. And one day you'll be even happier, when we hold our baby for the first time" Nate said, pulling my head into his chest. "I don't want to talk about this now, but what if that never happens? I don't think I'm strong enough to be let down again" "You are so strong. And I won't let this happen again, we're going to avoid that whole scenario totally. Are you ready to go back in?" "Yeah. Thank you" I said, kissing him once. "What do you mean? That's my job now, as your husband, so stop thanking me! I never thank you for being beautiful" "I'm still going to" I said, laughing and pulling the door open, my arm wrapped around Nate's waist. We opened the door, and started to walk out, before our path was blocked by two individuals. "Well look who it is!" one cried.

KatyTiffanyNYCLove You Too: PART SEVENTY SIX • Opuss № I