Finally found what I needed. To an extent of course...
I wish everything normal meant I love you: A wink, A smile, A touch, A laugh, A joke, A glance. I wish everything you did was code for "I love you.".
Anything you see, I see as an exit; A weapon..
I stepped in the elevator on my deepest of days. Thinking of the sorrow I've endured for years. Thinking about the scars on my wrists and stomach. Thinking about why they are there.
Never use a metal tip, for bleed it never will. Because those daily sorrows are most certainly its fill..
Keep your sleeves down. Keep your bracelets thick. Keep your makeup caked. Keep the evidence hidden from the world afraid of red. Part two: She showers when her hair's still wet.
As I drift my imagination works to find the most perfect of images. Your lips upon my neck. Your arms around my waist. Your fingers and hands resting on my lower back.
If it was ever not understood why one would even want to cut their body, understand now- life fucking sucks.
Who am I kidding, I hate everything about me..
I feel like my inside is beautiful, so is it just my outside?.
Covered in tattoos, amazing lover, pale, hair at any length, beautiful, caring, holds you when your hair feels a mile and your skin feels frozen and blue, loves you at your highest and lowest, screws...
The key to middle ground is an open window..
I stood in Mordor and watched Hoth. I had no middle ground that day..
Fuck you. Fuck everything you do. Fuck the way you call me skinny. Fuck the way you call me beautiful. I know the fat and ugly truth. Fuck every day with you. Fuck every day I'm with you.
i hear his songs and claim i hate them, out of jealousy. i read his poems and must admit their greatness, something he will never do to me.
i can no longer tell if i love him, or the idea of him..
Some smell like flowers, some smell like rain, me, I smell like Irish Spring..
as the dim shower lighting shines on my scars of remembrance, i realize, it's not because she's popular, it's because she's better than me..
positive people bore me..
i speak. i speak of pain. "general" pain Wink Wink. love. the giddy feeling you get when you see nick. depression. that thing that makes you want to slice into your belly again.
a secret. to modern society it is that idea that everyone knows about.
you tell all the "deeply personal" details of your life. what is a secret. who would know anymore..
mediocrity propels you. but even with excellence i'll hide in the shadows. everything you do is gold served on a silver platter. my effort will never mean anything in the real world.
a year has passed and i still feel the same about you..
too young you think i'm too young.
you may be over him because he'll never love you i'll never quit him because i'll always love him though love is pain and beauty, and i am living the pain, my love will never weaken, never die,...
love. dreadful when unreciprocated. beautiful when shared. made to rebel. ignored to avoid pain. bubbles in your very core. impossible to live with, and without.