9 April 2012
I think it's time I revealed a little bit about myself, as I've been on here for 3 days now and I've had such a great time.
I was born in England, but moved to America at 6 weeks. I grew up in a rich family, living in New York City, with a life that many people are envious of. I had everything, and lived such a perfect life, until my father enrolled me at a boarding school in England at the age of 9. Now, I'm not saying I dislike England, but the transition from the worlds most amazing city, to the countryside of England took it out of me a little bit. I had a strong group of friends, and soon became one of the most trusted people at the school, earning the role of head girl in my final year at prep school. Things were looking up for me in that year, as my mother moved to England, so I started to board in the week, and go home at the weekends (something we call 'weekly boarding'). Then, as soon as I moved onto a very prestigious college (at the age of about 13), the people I once held closest started to turn against me. Maybe it was hormones, or maybe I just became a different person, but something changed. I started to become very upset for no reason, and it didn't help that I broke my arm and was therefore no longer captain of the hockey or swimming teams. I lost my popularity and started to gain weight. For someone who's ultimate love in life is fashion, gaining weight at the rate I was isn't a good thing. So I started not eating lunch or snacks. Just the meals where my mum would see me, as I didn't want to upset her.
I moved schools, and became shy, not socialising with the people I would normally socialise with. Instead, I designed fashion and started writing pieces of fashion journalism. I sparked up a passion, but sacrificed my popularity and other things in my life. Things got worse with my father (me and him never saw eye to eye) and he started to live away more than he normally did. I now see him once every month for a weekend. I started to become obsessed with fashion, and this lead to a problem with money. I couldn't stop shopping. I still can't. It's like therapy. That's when I realised that I might have depression. I've never done anything about it, because I don't think it's that serious, but I lost so much, and I fell such a long way.
The worst moment was when my best friend told me he had a brain tumour. My whole life stopped, and I alienated all the friends I had gathered, just so I could spend as much time with him as possible. He passed away 5 months later, and after a very painful few months, people started to help me, and I soon regained my popularity, because people saw me for who I was. It was the six month anniversary on March 20th, but I didn't cry. I saw it as a chance to slowly start to move on and that's what I've been doing. That's why I'm starting to write a story about my loss, and about how my life has changed from a prosperous girl in New York's upper class, to a girl who hid away, believing that she was overweight and ugly, to now, when I can hold my head up high and say that I've lost weight and that I love myself again.
Thank you for reading this, again it means a lot ❤
My Life. • Opuss № I