20 December 2012
!!!WARNING!!! If you believe in, fairy tales, Santa, The Tooth Fairy etc...
!!!TURN AWAY NOW!!! !!!THAT IS ESSENTIAL!!!
Santa, Santa. Hear me please, I want some presents and toast with peas.
Don't drink the coke in our house. It made you red. Well, that was said.
(Dad, don't bother this year down the chimney. Your beard will be chalk).
will be on the rooftop tonight, instead of my bed leaving there my tooth. Don't let the tooth fairy know its fake. She'll give a fiver anyway. (Mum will never guess).
Oh,and Santa by the way, get a real beard. I'm tired of taking it away.
Please give the change droppers extra praise. (More money to my pocket). ...And also tell people to stop being bamboozled with fairies, they don't have that much change in their pocket.
Oh and please, stop giving people glowing toys, they then complain about monsters under their bed.
White lies, white lies! Mum, dad! Stop reading my letters.
Letters To Santa • Opuss № I