Fear, gripping me.
Questions, overwhelming me.
Where did I go?
I never planned on leaving, yet I'm no longer here.
I've been replaced!
Overcome!
By a stranger I wish I'd never met!
Pain!
The new me?
No thanks!
I miss being fun.
I miss smiling all the time.
I miss being carefree and spontaneous.
I miss being happy.
This ugly pain is everything now.
I can't get away from it.
I've tried everything.
Everyday is a battle.
A battle of me against the pain.
A battle to be the person I am, not the person I've become.
Where is the loving, kind, giving person who I was?
Wrapped up inside myself!
Surviving!
Coping!
In darkness!
Alone!
My new name?
One who will suffer the rest of her life with an incurable disease.
One who wallows in self-pity.
One who fights everyday not to give up.
One who hides the pain and pushes through.
One who wishes she had her life back!
One who will survive...
Somehow!