19 September 2012
One minute your there, The next your gone. Up in a poof of smoke, did you ever exist? I asked myself this as I laid on the couch, the T.V. Playing absently, just a laugh track and glowing light for my thoughts. Everyone told me you'd leave. It wouldn't be too long until you were off, forgetting about me. I got angry with them, called them liars, left in a fury, left them behind for you. And where are you now? God knows where. Out with someone new? In bed with her already? I can still feel that last kiss, sweet and slow. I thought it was so perfect. Why did what came after have to be a crack to my heart? It was like you hit it with a hammer, Bang bang bang Crash. Suddenly, my tears and hurt turned to anger. It came so quickly and strongly, a rising heat at first, then finally boiling over. I was angry beyond my own control, I couldn't gauge what was going to happened next. I threw what was in reach. In a flurry of noise and color, around flew magazines, pictures, pillows blankets, stuffed bears and toys of my sisters. They pelted the wall. Blow after blow. A hit to it, not me. For once, something else was hurt. Bang bang bang Crash. Bang bang bang Crash. Bang bang bang Crash. I finally stopped, breathing heavily, panting. As the anger disapated, fizzling out into a steam. And I looked around, in the dim light of the comedy on the tv, this looked like a tornado had run through. The laugh track on tv played. Hahahahahahaha. Laughing at my mess. The characters happily resolved their problems. If only the real world were DisneyChannel. In the real world, no laugh track plays, no problems are resolved with magic or a scheme. Nothing is ever easy.
I huffed away. Frustrated with me. Frustrated with this mess. But most of all, Frustrated with you.
Bang Bang Bang Crash. • Opuss № I