Holy Cow

@dougietjs

Racetime

So a cheater and a lion are having a race and the cheetah wins. the lion out of breath said "you've gotta be a cheetah!" the cheetah replies "Nah you lion".

@dougietjs

Shit happens

Shit happens when you party naked - bad santa.

@dougietjs

Churchill

"You're terribly drunk Churchill" "Yes madam, but in the morning I will be sober, however you will still be ugly".

@written

Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. So when you do judge them, you'll be a mile away and have new shoes..

@MrKazan

To all men who say: “A woman’s place is in the kitchen,” just remember that’s where the knives are kept. Anonymous.

@SianRLD

Tedious Bacon

Dull pig. What a boar..

@Dovahkiin

Pac-Man

"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean, if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music".

@dougietjs

no pain, no pain

Many people say with exercise: No pain, no gain. I also use this phrase about the advantages of laziness: No pain, No pain - Anon.