17 November 2012
(all true! No lie i promise)
Ok so Dad comes home, "How was your walk?" I asked, "Bad." he replied glumly, "Oh what happened?" I asked. "Well first the dog wasn't going over the field so I had to go up the pavement to the woods instead. She decided to do a really runny crap on the pavements. Loads of people started watching her and was all screaming, 'EWWW! THATS GROSS! ' I stood there embarrassed so I walked off with out cleaning it up. I would go back later then all the tourists started to shout, "YUCK HE DIDN'T EVEN CLEAN IT UP! " So I hid in a bush for a while until they went away. The I cleaned up the plop.
I walked through the wood and a few fields until I realised I was lost. I saw an escape but there was some barbed wire in the way. I attempted to climb under it but it ripped all up the back of my top. When I got under it I fell over and as it was a hill I started to roll down it helplessly. I couldn't stop until I got to the bottom! By then I was covered in cow crap and mud. And all the while the dog just stoop there watching me roll down the hill flailing my arms and legs around for a little help! Then I walked down to the river to clean the dog so she was having a nice splash about, still on a lead though. I threw her ball a little bit to far and she pulled me into the river too. So I sat in the river all the tourists laughing and pointing at me. After a nice sit it the freezing water I came home covered in crap, soaking wet and now with wellies full of water and probably a few fish too." he sighed and stomped up stairs as I just sat there laughing my ass off! Love you Dad!
Bad Walk • Opuss № I