9 May 2012
hungry squid is a short story explaining the world of hungry squid iOS game: www.hungrysquidgame.com
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When you’re completely alone for what seems like forever, the definition of time changes slightly. Wait, what? Don’t interrupt me! It took me a million years to make up this silly language the way you’re using it, just so you can understand my story.
And feel sorry? Shut up! You shut up! No, you shut up, I’m telling a story here and interruptions are utterly unnecessary. Wait, what? Sorry, I’ve been talking to my other self here. When you’re alone for so long it’s the only real way to stay sane. Or is it? Well let’s get back to the story.
If you want to know if there is a God, then you’re asking the wrong squid. Sure, someone DID create your universe, but I was already playing checkers with myself then. Really! It’s easy when you have six arms. Four will play and two will stroke our chin (or chins) when we’re thinking about our next move. So I got myself cornered with a nice one-two-three and suddenly thare was this “Bang”. What? The Big Bang? Well it wasn’t really THAT big. It was more like a used Chevette hitting a pile of cardboard boxes. What? Yeah the driver died, but the bang was quite little. Really. It wasn’t even an important event.
But I digress. You probably want to know what’s up with me sitting on this long dead piece of rock that once was a planet and writing stories in a soon to be dead language. How soon? Well to be honest for me the term “soon” probably means something else than for you “people”. Did I say it right? “P E O P L E?”. What a strange way to call yourselves. Well I’m Avov. At least in a rough (very rough) translation to your funny lingo. Had to shorten it from my real name, cause it was taking 15 of your years to pronounce it correctly with all the twisty-and-turny parts that only my tongue can articulate.
Let’s get back to the planet though. Sorry, after so many years I get sidetracked VERY easily. Ok, let’s start from the begining. You’re only one of the “people” things, so I’ll try and dumb it down for you a bit. A planet is the thing you’re currently walking on, and at the rate you’re having your fun there, it’ll probably be over in... say after 50 copies of your calendar. And when a planet dies - just like yours will soon - it cannot just float around in space, because it has a lot of remaining energy. Think of that energy as a sitting time bomb, just waiting to explode. Without you little “people” on the surface it’d become even more unstable and break a hole in the web of space. I hope you found out that space is a web, and each thread is just one “universe” or whatever you call it. So in order for the dead planet to stay on it’s right thread the keepers were created to keep the planet protected and firmly attached to it’s little string. It can move - of course - but more like a yo-yo toy your children often use. I wish I had one of those - or better yet - 6 of those so I can do tricks and win contests, and be admired. Ah, done it again. So we basically have to sit and keep it from idling out of control. That’s a job with no breaks, no pay and no co-workers. Well that last part is actually not that bad. My planet was called Trudea, and it had some kind of similar two legged, two armed specimen inhabiting it. I mean come on! How silly it is to have JUST two arms? What can you do with two arms? So Trudeans were trying their best to achieve some sort of greatness, but it didn’t quite work as planned. First they started destroying the atmosphere with toxic gasses. Then came the out of proportion digging operation to harvest all of the planet’s resources. Of course they didn’t know that they could either use the energy of their two suns, or the one from the core of their planet. Maybe if they did I wouldn’t be sitting here now telling you that story. Or maybe not. I got picked to guard one of the very first planets. Before that a big spider was slowly and patiently crafting the space web, so there wasn’t really a lot of things going on. But then Trudea and some other planets emerged from one thread in a slightly bigger bang than yours. At first we were just watching them grow, learn and expand. It wasn’t that bad for a few thousand years, but after that it got even more interesting. There was a lot of things wrong with the planet and how Trudeans were running it. But you might actually know the story from your own history, as non-squid beings tend to repeat their own mistakes. They had some world wars, some powerful people ruling the whole world, they even had deadly diseases for which the cures were known, but kept secret. Drunk with power they eventually led to some sort of catastrophy, but it only took 50 years and I actually was looking the other way for that one brief moment. Got distracted by a little boy sitting on a moon-like structure and growing flowers out of nothing. He got me so bored eventually that I turned back and there it was. Trudea. Dead and empty. I knew what had to be done.
If only it was that easy. I had to EARN myself the honor (or so I though then) to be one of the keepers. And by earn I really mean DO things. To be a keeper you need to be both smart and focused, plus you need to use your telepathic skills to connect to a being from a different thread without him knowing. Using both of your powers you need so solve a series of 15 tests that will determine your fate. The smart ones - and I’m proud to be a part of that small group - will get their own planet. The dumber ones will just get dumped in an ocean. After years of living that way their mental powers deteriorate so much that they can only swim and eat. Well and reproduce every once in a while. I got a connection with someone - don’t know his name - and we went through the tests like a storm. So here I am now, after countless years, still guarding what’s left of Trudea. The Keepers have expanded the operation to other threads, because of that “earth” failure some million years ago. Your planet had some nice creatures living there. Something you would’ve called dragons now, but they actually called themselves the Primes. Yeah I know it sounds like a punkrock group name. They liked it. Then it happened. One of the keepers forgot to jump to the next thread and win himself a dying planet. A small one, but it did have some impact. But we all forgot. It took another 50 million years for it’s core to burst through the threads and hit your beloved earth. It actually annihilated most of the life there and the dragons, or Primes, didn’t really come back after that. Someone up high was very mad. We weren’t supposed to interrupt the species in self-annihilation by doing it for them sooner. The Primes were already trying to build coal powerplants and destroy the atmosphere. But that little “restart” caused your planet to replenish what was destroyed and that led to you guys. There would be one of us Keepers on your planet now if not for that little incident a while back. But we can wait. We have all the time. And yours is nearly up.
Not trying to scare you or anything. All species have a tendency to self annihilation, and it’s just your time soon. Sure you can recycle, rethink your ways and live in harmony. But that has NEVER happened while I’m alive. And I think I’ve always been here. Sure, go ahead - surprise me! It’d be something different for a change, but I wouldn’t bet my tentacle on it.
Still I have to tell you something. I think you’re the best of all the others endangered species I’ve encountered so far. Sure you do awful, unthinkable things to each other and your planet. But that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Idiots are everywhere. Just ask my squid friends that failed the tests. Some of them even end up on your plates. Most just float mindlessly through your oceans smiling to themselves.
But you do have some things that I like. Trudea is going to be re-taken and restored some time from now and I’d really love to sit on earth next. I’ve been watching you for a while now and the so-called modern times of your history are actually quite entertaining. I also see a lot of good here and there and that makes me happy. That positive energy doesn’t just vanish - it floats through space and brings smiles to the Keepers. The negative one flows out too, but that doesn’t give us frowns, it’s quite natural.
The best thing you ever did was music. I mean we do sing sometimes too, but it lacked the structure and harmony that your ancestors invented. Too bad most of the popculture gravitated towards being plain stupid, but there are little diamonds that I’m personally looking after. It’s not easy since I can blink and they’re gone before I open my eyes again, but sometimes I manage to go through a whole career. I would’ve told you what “bands” I like and what I think is garbage music, but that wouldn’t change anything anyway. You might even know it already. Music. Yeah - love it. Keep doing it instead of watching blinking screens and you will be a lot more interesting.
I also like stories, but those weren’t your invention. They even had stories on Trudea, but I forgot most of them. And even if I remembered, the references would probably be out of your minds reach anyway. But I think your stories have a potential. You can be pretty imaginative when raised the right way. Too bad only a few escape the blinking screen into being creative, or I’d be a lot less bored. But do go on - write! Share your thoughts and dreams because it IS interesting.
See? Not everything is wrong with your kind. You’re still going “away” soon, but at least you’ll feel better knowing that I really like you. After the lights are shut and the planet deserted I’ll be going through your albums and books and making a personal favorites catalogue. That’ll take some time, but as I said - I have time. All I need is something to do with it or I will definitely go insane. And no - talking to myself is
hungry squid • Opuss № I