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martinj

Reader of many words. Quoter of several. Writer of some.

8
Stories
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Stories by @martinj (8)

martinj
martinj
2012-04-17T00:25:57

I Hate It When...

When Americans call chips "French fries". When Americans call crisps "Chips". When Americans call chocolate globbernaughts "Candy bars". When Americans call motorized rollinghams "Cars".

2 0 235 words
martinj
martinj
2012-04-16T19:31:18

Compose Window

The compose window on the iPad is pretty broken.

0 0 68 words
martinj
martinj
2012-04-16T19:20:55

Amateur

From Latin "Amator" – lover, from "Amare" – to love. One who performs an activity out of love rather than for financial compensation..

0 0 23 words
martinj
martinj
2012-04-16T16:44:52

Grandfather

(This is the eulogy I wrote when my grandfather passed away in 2010 and read in its translated form in his funeral. I've had some people tell me they found it moving so I humbly reproduce it here.

2 0 1333 words
martinj
martinj
2012-04-16T16:21:42

If By Whiskey (By Noah S. "Soggy" Sweat, Jr.)

My friends, I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy.

0 0 303 words
martinj
martinj
2012-04-16T16:18:41

Hello Babies (By Kurt Vonnegut)

"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here.

0 0 49 words
martinj
martinj
2012-04-16T16:15:15

The Unknown (By D. Rumsfeld)

As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know There are known unknowns. That is to say We know there are some things We do not know.

0 0 59 words
martinj
martinj
2012-04-16T16:06:26

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité

Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

2 0 587 words