19 February 2013
If learning the truth means dying, Then maybe lies are best.
If loving you means I say goodbye, Then maybe hate should take its place.
If my life is going to take this course, Then maybe the truth of loving you was worth the goodbye.
But to start anew? Ill say it once, I'm here to stay, because the love and truth I have found is better than hate. _________________________________________ -Part One-
I sat up drenched in sweat as the remaining images of my dream faded away. I looked at my clock; 5;30 am; I might as well get up and get ready for school. I climbed out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. I turned on the water and while it warmed up I slowly took off my PJ's. I stepped into the shower as a light headed feeling rushed to me. I grabbed onto the curtain to help steady me.
"Jasmine." I heard my older brother calling.
I could hear him walking to the bathroom so I pulled the shower curtain to cover my body. The door opened and Miccah poked his head in.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Why are you up so early?"
"I couldn't sleep." I said softly. Another wave of getting light headed over took me and I tightened my grip on the shower curtain.
"Are you okay? You look really pale."
"Why are you in the bathroom? I'm trying to shower." I said tiredly.
"I heard you screaming some name before you got up."
"What name?"
"Ryan" he looked thoughtful. "I think. Actually I'm positive it was Ryan."
"Who is Ryan?" I asked.
"Don't ask me. Your the one screaming for a Ryan." Miccah smirked.
"What?"
"So who is this Ryan guy?"
"I don't know!" I yelled.
"Okay fine. I'll leave you alone." He left, softly closing the door behind him.
I let go of the curtain and breathed deeply. "Ryan?" I asked myself. I stepped under the pressurized water and tried to relax as i let it run over my body. ~ I was driving. It was dark and for some reason my headlights wouldn't work. I was trying to get my headlights on and keep a look out for people or animals on the road. Just as I was trying my headlights my car swerved and flipped. I was thrown out of my car and... ~ "NO!" I screamed out.
"Jaz!" Miccah yelled. I heard his footsteps on the stairs.
"I'm fine." I called out. A dizziness swept through me and I grabbed onto the curtain again.
I finished my shower and dried off. I put on my robe and walked back to my room. I kept thinking about that Ryan guy. I put on sweatpants and a hoodie. I pulled my hair back into a loose bun and grabbed my phone and iPod. I turned on my music and turned it up all the way.
I grabbed my school stuff and headed down the stairs. My music played through my head as I took the stairs slowly. Miccah was sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. He looked up at me as I headed to the fridge to get a water.
I saw his lips moving but ignored it. He made a motion with his hands for me to take out my headphones. I did so reluctantly.
"I'm not going to school today so you'll have to drive yourself." Miccah said.
"Okay." I nodded.
I grabbed the keys off the counter and headed for the door.
"Aren't you going to eat?" He asked.
"Nope." I said dismissively.
"But I haven't seen you eat all week." He said.
"Cause you don't pay attention." I lied. The truth was I hadn't eaten all week.
"But I have been the past few days and I haven't seen you eat anything."
"That's because I eat at school." Another lie.
"Why do you keep lying to me? I've asked Jamie and Shyanne and they say you don't."
"I'm going to school." I said flatly.
"It's to early to leave." He said softly.
"I know."
"Then wait and explain to me what is wrong with you. Why won't you eat?"
"Nope." I walked out the door.
"Jasmine!" He yelled.
"What?"
"You need to eat."
"Nah."
"Jasmine. Eat."
"Love ya Miccah." I unlocked the door and got in the car.
"Jasmine, come on, eat something."
I drove off.
I stopped at the nearest gas station and got some gas and some more waters. I also bought the strongest Tylenol I could find.
When I was done I went to the check out desk and paid for the stuff I got.
I drove to Shyanne's and waited for her to get in.
"Your here awfully early." She said. I barely heard her. I was having another dizzy spell.
"Jaz? You okay?" She asked.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Your deathly pale."
"I'm fine." I lied.
I drove to Jamie's.
"What's wrong with you today? You seem off." Shyanne said as I drove.
"I just don't feel good this morning." I said.
"You never feel good." Shyanne said jokingly.
"Yeah." I said aggravated.
I pulled into Jamie's drive way and honked. She poked her head out the door and held up a finger for us to wait.
"Hey girls." She said getting in.
"Hey Jamie." Shyanne said. I kept quiet.
"Jaz?"
"She doesn't feel good." Shyanne said
"Ohh well where's Miccah?" Jamie asked.
"Not coming today." I said.
"How are things with you and Nick? Did you make up?" Jamie asked.
"What do you think?"
"Yes you guys did. Aww I knew you guys were going to stay together forever." Jamie said.
"No Jamie we didn't! I walked in on him cheating. I'm not getting back with him! Are you that stupid?!"
"Harsh much?" Shyanne said.
"Don't ask stupid questions then." I said.
"You really need to chill." Shyanne said.
"Yeah. Come to this party tonight. It's going to be awesome." Jamie said.
I rolled my eyes but kept my mouth shut. I slowly pulled over to the side of the road as a wave of intense dizziness swept over me.
"What's wrong Jaz?" Jamie asked.
"I don feel very good. I'm fine." I drove on as the dizziness subsided.
When I got to the school I quickly got out of the car and ran into the school and to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall. Shyanne and Jamie followed closely behind.
"Are you okay?" Jamie asked again.
"Yeah." I lied. I came out.
"Oh my god! Jaz your so pale!" Shyanne said
"I'm fine." I lied again.
"Liar! I can see your not okay." Shyanne said.
"Just leave me alone." I pushed past them and out into the hall. Students were walking around slowly, not wanting to go to their classes.
Another wave of dizziness came to me. This time it was way more intense. I was going to black out. I could feel it, i kept walking though, towards my locker. Everything was spinning in circles around me.
I grabbed onto the nearest wall as everything went black and then red. Suddenly I wasn't holding onto the wall anymore. The ground became very close very fast.
"Jaz!" I heard people yell. ~ "Careful!" Someone snapped.
"I'm trying. She's bleeding everywhere." A guy said.
"Shh." Someone whispered.
"Why won't you get his hands off my girl?!" I heard Nick yell.
"Shut up. He's helping her, you wouldn't so I don't want to hear you."
I moved a bit and felt the guy stop walking.
"She's awake."
I opened my eyes slowly and looked up to see who was carrying me. He had black hair and green eyes. He smiled slightly.
"My name is Ryan, just so you don't freak out or anything." The guy said.
The dream rushed back to me and I pushed against the guy.
"What's wrong?" The guy asked.
"You were in my dream. I know you." I said softly
He smiled. "Ah so you do recognize me."
"Get away from me." I said.
"Trust me, Love." He said softly, taking on a British accent.
"Jaz. Baby I'm sorry. And I'm glad your okay." Nick said. He took my hand in his.
"I'm not your baby anymore. You lost that privilege when you slept with that girl." I said pulling my hands away.
"I was drunk. I'm sorry baby."
"Don't. Call. Me. Baby." I enunciated. "I don care if you were God. You can't cheat on me and expect me to still want to be with you."
"Jaz just don't worry about it. We need to get you to the hospital." Ryan said.
"And you. I don't even know you so you aren't taking me anywhere."
"Maybe we should call an ambulance and your brother Jaz." Shyanne said.
"No. Miccah doesn't need to know." I said.
"He's your brother. He needs to know that your going to the hospital." Jamie said.
"I'll call him when I get there." I said.
"Hey you. Dude put down my girl." Nick said to Ryan.
"Nick! I'm not your girl anymore! What will it take to get that through your mind?" I said getting angry.
"Whatever. I don't need you anymore anyways." Nick said.
"Oh yeah tell your brother I said 'hi' and that ill come take him for ice cream tomorrow. Please." I said.
"Since when have you cared about my brother?"
"Since we started hanging out." I said.
"He wasn't even born then though."
"No your mom was pregnant with him though."
"Whatever Jaz." Nick walked off.
"Jaz... How do you feel?" Ryan asked.
I sighed. "Tired and kinda lightheaded again." I looked up at him.
"Maybe next time then." Ryan said..
"Next time?" I asked.
He kissed my forehead. It was a goodbye kind of kiss.
"We need an ambulance. My friend fell at school and busted her head. She's lost a lot of blood." Shyanne was saying into the phone.
"I'm fine." I said.
"No you aren't." Jamie said.
"Put me down would ya?" I asked Ryan.
"Not a very good idea." Ryan said.
"I'm fine. Just put me down."
"No. We will just bring her then." Shyanne said. "They put me on hold. Lets just take her."
"I'll drive. Shyanne you give me directions and Jamie, you keep her awake."
"I'm fine." I said as Ryan carried me to my car.
Shyanne followed behind Ryan with my stuff.
Once he had put me in the car, Jamie got in beside me.
"Listen Jamie. She has to stay awake. If she goes to sleep she may never wake up." Ryan said.
"Hey Jaz. Do you remember that sleep over we had at your house last year?"
"Yeah. We pranked my brother." I said.
"Yeah. Do you remember the conversation we had that night?"
"Which one?"
"The one where you were upset because Nick was trying to make you have sex with him?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"That night you fell asleep crying an
•Fighting For Survival• • Opuss № I