mattbreon
I think 'swag' and 'YOLO' were terms developed by geniuses. Swag: the quickest way to identify a douchebag. YOLO: the quickest way to send said douchebag to prison.
Untitled_Audio_Log_001 Is this thing on? *tap-tap* Ah, yeah, there we go. This is Elizabeth McGlashan reporting at 0812 hours on May 21st, 2017. Location... Somewhere. We've lost our GPS and the boat-wreck is too far out to swim to. We've …
(I didn't write this poem, and I don't know who did. Enjoy anyone, and thank you to whoever did write it. ) I halve a spelling checker It came with my pea sea It clearly marcs four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key a…
This happens every single time. I come upstairs and what do I find? On my bed, sleeping, in a ball, curled up, A little Jack Russell and Shih-Tzu cross pup.
Lost. Stuck. Confused. Don't know what to do, Don't know what to say. Should I go in this direction? Or the other way? Perhaps this option would be best, Or maybe this one would. "Brain, please make your mind up." "Oh, only if I could.…
Fuck 'em, they're just a number.
Hi, thanks if anyone has the time to read this. So, I've got a little dilemma, I guess. My boyfriend lives in London, and we're in a long-distance relationship. I love him a lot, and I wouldn't even dream about leaving him. Except I'm s…
Charmanders are red, Squirtles are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.
You never see it coming. The far off sounds of guns. Sometimes, the sound of a spade hitting concrete or the thud of a baseball bat against their soft heads. The screams of everyone you love. Except they're not them anymore. They're somethi…
Hey there, everyone. Uh, well, all 13 of you. I'm having a little trouble trying to find any inspiration to write. In other words, I'm having a terrible writer-block. How do you find it easiest to get over writer-block? Any suggestions woul…
A walk was all it took. A simple walk outside, into a small patch of field about a minute away. After two months of being in the hospital, you'd think it'd be okay to step outside, to walk, to run even. But I think it was the running that…
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
"John, I've been thinking about this for a while and I think that I kinda... No, Strider, you gotta be more confident than that. Okay. John, I love you and I think that we should... No, no, too blunt. John, I-" "Yes, Dave?" Dave jumped, kno…
Dave Strider had been in the hospital for three weeks. For two of them, he'd been unconscious and for all three, his best friend, John Egbert had been at his side every day in the hope that the sleeping blonde would wake up from his coma. …
I choose not to. I fear humiliation. Therefore, I say nothing so I don't humiliate myself. I haven't spoken a word since I was 9. Since I was 11, I've wondered what I sound like. I'm 14. Maybe I should find out soon. My dearest follo…
This is sort of 'inspired', I suppose by one of @blindsilence's recent posts. So, here goes. Okay, first up, people on Opuss who follow no-one, yet have over 60-70 followers. I think it's absolutely terrible that so many writers on here w…
Why? Because, yes, you may have broken my heart, but you were aware of that fact. You knew the pain you had caused and were causing me mentally and emotionally and instead of simply ignoring that, you stayed there as my friend and you helpe…
Another sleepover. Another night of tears. We stay up, watch 'Supernatural' then sleep as the clock strikes one. Well, we try. Scared, she clutches my hand as the pipes drip loudly and lights shine ominously through the window from outsid…
@LittleKitten He's different. His eyes are the colour of rubies And his hair a snowy grey, As if he was decorated with a Christmas tree in mind; The silver tinsel And the glowing red lights. He's elegant, Though he calls himself hideous…
Those people who follow no-one, have written nothing, yet have over 50 followers. How? Just... How?
Her vision faded. As it did so, she caught a final glimpse of the blonde haired, blue eyed boy she called her love. And as she woke up on the soft hospital bed, his was the first voice to make itself known. She couldn't see him. Her eyes …
I like the number two. Why? My birthday is the 2nd of a month. If you ever have to make a choice, there will always be at least two options. It's a good number to go by.
I'm terrified of getting cancer. It runs in my family. I know a hell of a lot of people who have died of it in the past, including my dog. It haunts me, I guess. I had a cancer scare last year. We found a mole. It had an odd shape, was ra…
A beautiful name. Most would agree. Like autumn leaves On a deciduous tree. When the colours Are brown, yellow, red And fall to the ground Amongst flower beds. I'd compare his hair To the summer sun, Or a sandy beach - Soft and such fun…
They always told me, "Don't forget". I always did forget. They always told me, "Don't regret". I always did regret. I also remember the things I regret. Every Little Last God-damned Detail. My mind would block out the really ter…
Being romantic. My attempts at being poetic always turn out cheesy and down-right terrible.
It's not easy to rhyme, Make sure all the endings fit. Making all the lines work together Sometimes makes me want to quit. It's not easy to rhyme And repetition's hard. The first line has to stay the same, To the following verse, a guar…
And something occurred to me today. A question, more like, to all other Homestuck fans: If, to everybody else, a bucket list is a list of things that you want to do before you die, then would a bucket list, to a Homestuck fan, be a list of…
My dad frequently repeats this joke us, most of the time unintentionally, but I always laugh at the end. 'A man goes on a business trip to Spain and tired from his day's work, he decides to visit a restaurant that backs on to a bull-fight…
This is a joke that my friend told me earlier today. I warn you, it contains a few swears. Johnny and his dad were walking home from his school when they saw two women arguing in the street. The first of the women screamed, "Bitch!" and s…
In my school, there used to be these identical twins called Paris and Courtney. Paris was in my tutor group, but she was never in school. Courtney was on the other side of the year, but rarely missed school. The thing is though, not once …
So, there's this guy, and he's spectacular, beautiful, spectacularly beautiful, beautifully spectacular. And I have no idea why.
'What use is it? What use is anything?' Your hands tremble as the freshly drawn blood dribbles along the skin of your hand to drip softly onto the stained carpet below you. 'No, nothing's wrong. It's just grape juice, mum, honestly.' Li…
What would a person be like if they never loved anyone, or in fact, anything? Surely if they'd never loved then they'd never felt emotional pain. Perhaps that's why it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. If you …
I stare into your eyes I see stars in the sky I see glowing fireflies
Take my hand and lead the way, Pour out all your deeper thoughts, Let your soft voice whisper swiftly into my ear, All these lovely things I want to hear. Kiss my lips and touch my skin, Invoke my adrenalin, And bring out passion deep withi…
As I lie in my bed, Your name running through my head. All I can think of is you And all that you do. The way you look at me. I feel as if I’m in a dream. The blue sky Reminds me of your eyes Which gives me butterflies. You have brightened …
It's dark. I can hear the whirring of my computer. The light pollution obscures the night sky. I can see no stars. Oh, the stars. The stars. Where are they? Hiding. Hidden. Hidden by our abilities to create light that overpowers the…
He stood there on that sunny Autumn's day and watched the leaves drift by. There were so many. Colourful and dancing with the wind. He reached out and caught a crisp red leaf in his hand. Unfortunately, the leaf crumbled as he held it. For …