13 May 2012
First it was a hiss
Then it was a roar
Ladles clanged on saucepans
As they went to war
They’d rustled up some mischief
A most rapacious menu
Each of their objectives
A television venue
Their schedule was fastidious
As they started to invade
Encircling White City
With a zesty marinade
The olive oil was smoking
As they besieged ITV
Catapulting meatballs
With a lusty 1-2-3
The essence of their battle
Reached the nose and did persist
The executives were famished
Oh, how could they resist?
First they dripped out in a trickle
Then poured out in a rout
To be served potato gratin
And succulent poached trout
Oliver was knighted
Ainsley reigned as king
Delia preened beside him
Gordon cursing in the wing
Heston was imprisoned
For releasing mustard gas
His guards were James and Ali
Who forgot and let him pass
The hairy bikers made fresh doughnuts
Sue trilled out “We’ve won!”
Then they went back to their kitchens
Whilst the ghost of Floyd drank on
TV Dinners • Opuss № I