9 July 2012
Your hair's shorter now, thinner too.
It once was black as a ravens wing. Now it's peppered with grey.
Your face, always so youthful and full of life, now has heavy lines etched into your flaky skin. Your features show the trials and strain of all the years, a constant reminder that you are no longer a carefree child.
Your eyes - once so bright and hopeful - are a faded green, staring out blankly from your face, unseeing.
Your gnarled and twisted fingers lie by your sides, still and cold.
You've always been skinny, but now you're skeletal, just skin and bones really. It's a wonder you were ever able to hold yourself up. Back then, you were healthy and strong. But that is no more.
That was then. And this is now.
What has happened to you?
We once played together, laughed together. Best friends forever. But, as the years went by, we grew apart. You were the braver one, the stronger one. Always willing to help others, to sacrifice all you had to save a friend. Me, I was weak. I'd hang out with all the popular kids to boost my rank in the world of high school. I'd watch on as others were beaten up, their protective barriers torn down. Watch and do nothing. I was too cowardly to intervene, with fear of damaging my popularity. I'd be smoking in the parking area, going out to the movies with my new friends while you were constantly raising money for charity or protesting against anything that could possibly damage the world, anything that would make a difference. You were always yearning to help, always dreaming of changing the world, even as a small child.
It isn't fair.
Isn't fair that it's you lying in the coffin, motionless. It isn't fair that you were the one diagnosed with cancer.
Aged before your time.
It should be you standing over me, thinking of the past.
But would you even come to the funeral? After everything I've done. Its hard to forgive. But you would always forgive, wouldn't you? You'd forgive anyone.
I still remember those days spent playing princesses in my pink fluffy room, spent playing hide and seek in the garden and climbing the apple tree, trying to reach the juiciest apple at the top. We'd pass notes in class and giggle together in the playground, whispering secrets to each other.
Those were the days.
But now you're gone. And I can never ever get you back.
I'm sorry for the way I acted. I'm sorry for not helping. I'm sorry for standing by while others suffered. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
Please forgive me.
For, now I realise, you were my only real friend. The others were using me just as much as I was using them. You were my true friend, my best friend.
And I swear on my life, I will never forget you.
The men are coming, dressed in black, telling me to say goodbye.
I'm clasping your hand now as they begin to close the coffin lid. It feels small and cold in my own and I feel a salty tear trickle down my cheek. I'm gripping tightly onto your limp fingers, dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go.
Old friend.
True friend.
Best friend.
Goodbye.
Old Friend • Opuss № I