23 July 2012
28th August 2012|London
Dear Diary,
I decided to start keeping a diary so I can write down all of my experiences, but I'm finding it quite hard. I don't really know where to start. Ok, well, my name is Ash, I'm 35 years old and I'm living in an flat in Central London. I have two cats and a goldfish and I love to write. It's the only thing I'm really good at. I can write anything- stories, poems, songs, speeches- but, I never know where to start, so I've never actually gotten further than a piece of paper and a pen. So, I guess I've never actually ever written anything before. I read a lot though, all kinds of books, the whole Harry Potter Series, the Chronicles of Narnia, the Secret Seven. I never actually open any of them, of course, I just read the front cover and the blurb. I'm afraid that if I read a whole book, I'll distract myself too much and won't be able to hear if a burglar breaks in. Or a murderer. Or a spider! I have severe spider fear, I don't like to say arachnophobia, because I could choke saying such a long word- I've always had such an AWFUL fear of choking- and then I could die and then who would feed my cats!? I know I could get someone to look after them, but I've never told anyone where I live, ever. Not even the postman, I just tell him to leave my shopping in the hallway downstairs so I can go and collect it, in case he's a sociopath and tries to kill me. That reminds me, someone saw me leaving my room this morning to collect my yearly shipping of soap and honey- I never put two matching products together, in case they catch on to me- anyway, I can't stay in this room anymore, someone knows where I live. I need to move upstairs, quickly, so they don't tell the mafia where I am- I never even said good morning to the man, downstairs, no wonder they want me dead!
Diary Of A Paranoid Introvert| Part 1 • Opuss № I