17 June 2012
When you find someone special, when you think about that person day and night, you get a contagious feeling which tells you never to turn back. You go feeling happiness and getting stronger every second. Then all of a sudden due to one small wrong decision that person leaves you. Because of lies you get pain. You do your everyday work but you feel soulless like you are not meant to be. You have nobody to cry out to nobody to depend on. You are in a corner with nothing to be afraid of but you feel like everything is against you. You have nothing. You have lost everything you have. All you hear is one voice in your head saying, “I Quit.”
You just want to shout out; you want to know why only this was meant to be. You feel like death is not good enough but life is worse. The only feeling that you feel is numbness. At a point you start to feel that pain is worse than this. A disease has grown in you and you feel it eating up your chest ad heart. You lose the very factors that make you, you. You hope for a light which never comes. All your hopes and everything you thought was, isn’t. You start wishing that at least you feel pain than this abyss of nothings, like this Field Of Asphodel.
All life is dull. You see ages of people laughing and enjoying while you watch the proceedings like you are not part of this world. You feel lost. You can collapse anytime and your heart is always beating faster than what you thought it would be. You cannot bear to think of that person lest tears start pouring down your eyes. You just want that person to know that you will do anything that you will be anyone that he/she needs and that your life isn’t important, not as much as the life of that person. You try to help and end up destroying what you have. You try all you can to tell that person that you don’t care about what happened or is happening to him. All you care is to tell him that you are nobody without him.
But he doesn’t listen. He has given up. You just want to tell him that whoever told you, you were letting go of him was a lie. That you will swear that you will never treat him bad, that you will never see him sad that you swear to share his joy and his sorrows. (Swear it Again)
But you are alone.
Alone • Opuss № I